76j: Candice Bergen / Frank Zappa
FX-70 Cheese Slicer
... Candice Bergen
Johnny ... John Belushi
[Parody of a 1970s Polaroid ad - Western music -
Candice Bergen holds what appears to be an instant
camera as we pull back to reveal Johnny, a kid in a
Candice Bergen: Okay, Johnny, what do you
Johnny: [smiles] Cheeeeese!
[Candice points the "camera" at Johnny and presses a
button - the "camera" whirs and a slice of processed
yellow cheese emerges from the slot where one would
expect to see an instant photo]
Candice Bergen: Got it! [hands the cheese slice
to Johnny who happily unwraps and eats it] Another
perfect slice of processed cheese! And look at that
color! It turns from mild to sharp in sixty seconds!
[Dissolve to a table laden with cheeseburgers,
cheese-covered pie slices, etc. Over this, two hands
hold the "camera" with a slice of cheese sticking out
Candice Bergen: The new FX-70 Cheese Slicer and
processed cheese cartridges. [SUPER: $69.95] Only
sixty-nine ninety-five for all your cheese needs.
[Dissolve back to Candice and Johnny.]
Candice Bergen: Hey! What do you say?
Offscreen Children's Voices: [as Johnny holds
up his cheese slice] Cheeeeese!
[Candice points the "camera" at Johnny who grins
mischievously and raises an eyebrow at her. Applause -