76l: Ruth Gordon / Chuck Berry
Barbra Streisand.....Laraine Newman
[ open on Barbra Streisand standing in her spotlight ]
Barbra Streisand: [ sings a medley of her hits ]
"All the critics hated my new movie
'A Star Is Born' was self-indulgent, they agree
'Cause in the film,
The only one you ever hear or see.
I'll admit the film was weak in places -
Like when the camera was on other people's faces -
And I say that not from self-indulgency
But because I'm in love with me.
I'm who everybody should be
'Cause even if one of my films sucks
It still makes four million buvks (just for me).
Was not in 'Lady Sings The Blues'
'Cause nobody would listen when
I kept saying just make it jews, for me.
I've played Miss Marmelstein, Fanny Brice, and Dolly Levy
But though each part had a different name
You could've seen them all with your eyes closed
'Cause I acted every one of them the same,
Exactly the same,
Exactly like me.
Produced my last film with great care
And the editing sure showed it
'A Star Is Born' was cut just like my hair
Happy days are here again for me
You can rain on my parade, but not on me
And my man I love him so, but not like I love me
'Cause on a clear day we can see me
But tell me would we, could we, be me?
Goodbye Dolly, hello me,
The best things in life are me,
But first be a person who is me
People who are me
Are the luckiest people in the world
And it's the laughter
That we'll remember
Whenever we remember