Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 17


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


March 26th, 1977

Jack Burns

Santana

None

Bob Van Ry

Anne Beatts

Mitchell Laurance

Jim Downey

Al Franken

Tom Davis

Neil Levy

Marilyn Suzanne Miller

Rosie Shuster

Tom Schiller

Alan Zweibel

John's Demands
Summary: Having not been given the opportunity to open the show until now, John Belushi holds the sketch hostage and requests that a list of his demands be met before he says the opening line.

Transcript


Montage


Jack Burns' Monologue
Summary: Jack Burns fulfills the desire to touch himself on national television.


The Farbers Meet The Coneheads
Summary: Larry (John Belushi) and Bobbi Farber (Gilda Radner) invite their new neighbors, The Coneheads, over for dinner.

Recurring Characters: Larry Farber, Bobbi Farber, Beldar Conehead, Prymaat Conehead, Connie Conehead.

Transcript


Santana performs "Black Magic Woman"


Marine Wedding
Summary: Marine Sergeant Wee Boyd (Dan Aykroyd) and his bride, Private Kathleen Lizetti (Jane Curtin), endure a military wedding service.

Transcript


A Town Without Pity
Summary: Eliot Ness (Dan Aykroyd) is called in to take India from Indira Gandhi's (Laraine Newman) hands, as is the will of the people

Recurring Characters: Indira Gandhi, Eliot Ness.


Weekend Update with Jane Curtin
Summary: Jane Curtin invites a cardboard cutout of Harry Reasoner to join her at the Weekend Update desk. Jane announces this year's Oscar winners based on results stolen from the Price-Waterhouse accounting firm.

Transcript


Leech-Tab 100
Summary: A pharmicist (Dan Aykroyd) prescribes leeches as the old-fashioned headache remedy.


The Story Of The Squatters
Summary: Early American crouchers settle the frontier for their clan.

Transcript


Executive Suicide
Summary: A sketch about a business executive (Jack Burns) who commits suicide is ruined when Jack Burns forgets to duck after jumping through the window.

Recurring Characters: Sherry.

Transcript


Jack Burns is Rocky
Summary: Jack Burns trains to be like "Rocky", in a film by Gary Weis.


Ask Big Daddy
Summary: As a follow-up to "Ask President Carter", Walter Cronkite (Bill Murray) interviews Idi Amin (Garrett Morris), who is quiet about a recent massacre.

Recurring Characters: Walter Cronkite, Idi Amin.


Mirage
Summary: In a short film, a vending machine appears in the desert.


Pantygrams
Summary: Richardo Montalban (Dan Aykroyd) endorses the underwear message service.

Recurring Characters: Richardo Montalban.


Santana performs "Europa"


Drunk Comedy Writer
Summary: Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin meet washed-up comedy writer Gags Beasley (Jack Burns) in a bar, and listen to some of his stale jokes.


Goodnights
Transcript



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