Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos: Bit Players:

March 26th, 1977 Jack Burns Santana None Bob Van Ry Anne Beatts Mitchell Laurance Jim Downey Al Franken Tom Davis Neil Levy Marilyn Suzanne Miller Rosie Shuster Tom Schiller Alan Zweibel

John's Demands

Summary: Having not been given the opportunity to open the show until now, John Belushi holds the sketch hostage and requests that a list of his demands be met before he says the opening line. Transcript

Montage

Jack Burns' Monologue

Summary: Jack Burns fulfills the desire to touch himself on national television.

The Farbers Meet The Coneheads

Summary: Larry (John Belushi) and Bobbi Farber (Gilda Radner) invite their new neighbors, The Coneheads, over for dinner. Recurring Characters: Larry Farber, Bobbi Farber, Beldar Conehead, Prymaat Conehead, Connie Conehead. Transcript

Santana performs "Black Magic Woman"

Marine Wedding

Summary: Marine Sergeant Wee Boyd (Dan Aykroyd) and his bride, Private Kathleen Lizetti (Jane Curtin), endure a military wedding service. Transcript

A Town Without Pity

Summary: Eliot Ness (Dan Aykroyd) is called in to take India from Indira Gandhi's (Laraine Newman) hands, as is the will of the people Recurring Characters: Indira Gandhi, Eliot Ness.

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin

Summary: Jane Curtin invites a cardboard cutout of Harry Reasoner to join her at the Weekend Update desk. Jane announces this year's Oscar winners based on results stolen from the Price-Waterhouse accounting firm. Transcript

Leech-Tab 100

Summary: A pharmicist (Dan Aykroyd) prescribes leeches as the old-fashioned headache remedy.

The Story Of The Squatters

Summary: Early American crouchers settle the frontier for their clan. Transcript

Executive Suicide

Summary: A sketch about a business executive (Jack Burns) who commits suicide is ruined when Jack Burns forgets to duck after jumping through the window. Recurring Characters: Sherry. Transcript

Jack Burns is Rocky

Summary: Jack Burns trains to be like "Rocky", in a film by Gary Weis.

Ask Big Daddy

Summary: As a follow-up to "Ask President Carter", Walter Cronkite (Bill Murray) interviews Idi Amin (Garrett Morris), who is quiet about a recent massacre. Recurring Characters: Walter Cronkite, Idi Amin.

Mirage

Summary: In a short film, a vending machine appears in the desert.

Pantygrams

Summary: Richardo Montalban (Dan Aykroyd) endorses the underwear message service. Recurring Characters: Richardo Montalban.

Santana performs "Europa"

Drunk Comedy Writer

Summary: Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin meet washed-up comedy writer Gags Beasley (Jack Burns) in a bar, and listen to some of his stale jokes.

Goodnights

Transcript