Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 18

76r: Julian Bond / Tom Waits, Brick

Alabama Improvements

George Wallace.....John Belushi

[ open on George Wallace seated in his wheelchair before a Confederate flag which hangs on his office wall ]

George Wallace: Hi. I'm George Wallace. Here to talk to you about the New South. You know, we here at Alabama have... been called a lot of names. Rubes... hicks... hayseeds... rednecks... crackers... yahoos... clodhoppers... mudkickers... hogwits... dogbrains... donkeyheads... manureminds... All based on some out-of-date stereotype image of the South. Now, that ended some... ten or fifteen years ago. Take this sign, for instance:

[ he holds up a sign which reads: "For Coloreds Only" ]

A symbol of white racism and oppression. I always get a big bang... out of all them Northern tourists who come to Birmingham and expect to see these here signs hanging fro mevery drinking fountain. Of course, we took these signs down in 1966... and replaced them with this sign: [ he holds up a sign of a black person in silhoette with a red line across it ] Now... now, you can see the difference for yourself. It's clean, it's modern... it's to the point.

Or, consider this bumper sticker, so popular with the younger folks: [ he holds up the bumper ticker ] "Warning! I Brake for Negroes" Just another example of the increased respect Black-Americans are getting here, in the heart of Dixie.

You know, the election of Jimmy Carter heralds a new era, an era of increasing awareness of the South as a vital, important part of America's future. Alabama welcomes this era... and it's high time the rest of the nation stopped thinking of us as some jerkwater state where Negroes are forced to ride in the backs of buses. We're making progress. Now... Negroes are forced to ride in the back of everything from jet planes to monorails, and, someday, God willing, even rockets to the moon.

Thank y'all.

[ dissolve to wide audience shot, zoom in on woman with SUPER: "Takes Showers In The Dark" ]

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