Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 20

76t: Eric Idle / Alan Price, Neil Innes


.....Eric Idle
.....John Belushi

[ return from commercial to find Eric Idle standing in front of the bank of telephones, which are now ringing wildly and being answered by the cast ]

Eric Idle: Well! Uh, whilst you've been away, things have certainly perked up a bit here, and the total now is $35 million! Uh, plus John Belushi's vest.

[ the board reads: "350000000 AND A VEST" ]

Eric Idle: Uh, this is, in fact, thanks to the late sale -- Exxon stepped in, and, in fact, bought the Queen. Uh, we haven't -- we haven't clinched the deal, so if anybody, any corporations are watching in IT&T, who would like to have a queen, uh, she's, uh -- a lot of experience, a monarchy that stretches back many years -- here's the number.

[ Bill Murray calls out to Idle, who steps closer before returning to the camera ]

Eric Idle: Just a reminder to all of you -- uh, please put your clocks back this evening at two o'clock. Uh, we'll be losing an -- no, we'll be getting -- we'll be, uh -- we'll be -- alright, put your clocks forward at two o'clock, uh if you -- uh, no, no -- uh, put your clocks back... If you put your clocks forward at two o'clock, you lose an --? Anyway, just put your clocks under your bed and forget about it. Why is it always Saturday night? Why do you always lose an hour on Saturday night? Why can't be bloody monday morning, when you're not doing anything? Why couldn't it be 10-11 you lose an hour? Nooo!! It has to be Saturday night, when you're probably chatting somebody up, you know? You could probably do quite well between two and three -- she says, "Darling, that was wonderful!" and you say, "Oh, yes." She says, "What's the time?" And you say, "Blimey, what's the time? It's five minutes past three." She says, "Oh, that was the BEST it's ever been for me!"

[ the cast jumps forward and surrounds Idle ]

Eric Idle: What?

John Belushi: Good night.

Eric Idle: Oh! Good night!

[ the Queen exits the back stage to re-emerge at the front of the apron of the stage to join the cast in waving good night ]

Announcer: "Saturday Night" will return three weeks from tonight, when our host will be Shelley Duvall, with musical guest Joan Armatrading. Remember: tonight, set your clocks forward one hour. Or, don't bother -- just count slowly to three-thousand, six-hundred, and start your day from there. This is don Pardo saying good night!

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