Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Mardi Gras Special

Mardi Gras Special


Stanley Kowalski.....John Belushi
Black Man.....Garrett Morris
Stella.....Laraine Newman

[ open on exterior, city street at night. Pan across to reveal a torn-shirted Stanley Kowalski stepping off of a streetcar line and staggering toward a row of apartments while clutching a can of beer. ]

Stanley Kowalski: [ glances upward ] Stellllllllaaaaa!!! Stelllllllllll-aaaaaaaaaaa!!!

[ a light turns on in a second-floor window ]


[ Black Man steps out on second-floor balcony from window ]

Black Man: Hey, uh - listen, pal - there's no Stella here.


Black Man: Hey! Look, uh, I-I'm trying to tell you, baby - there's no Stella here, uh --

Stanley Kowalski: I know Stella's there! [ falls to his knees ] STELLLLLLLLLL-AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! This is my HOUSE! I know Stella's up there! STELLLLLLLLLL-AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Black Man: Look - look - look -- you - you want Desire and Elysian Fields, right? Huh?

Stanley Kowalski: [ stands ] Right.. yeah.

Black Man: Well, this is Desire and Royal. You're two blocks too far south, baby.

Stanley Kowalski: [ comprehends this information, shakes his head ] Oh -- [ smacks his forehead ] Ohhh, wowwwww! Oh! [ shakes his head ] Hey, I'm really sorry, I-I --

Black Man: Hey, that's okay, that's okay --

Stanley Kowalski: I was a little juiced up tonight, and I-I thought this was my house and --

Black Man: I-it's okay.

Stanley Kowalski: Wow! Wow! [ walks off, mumbling incoherently to himself ]

[ a lightly-dressed white woman steps onto the second-floor balcony to join the black man ]

Stella: Who was that, honey?

Black Man: Stanley.

Stella: Oh, I should have known! come on back to bed, huh? [ wraps her arms around him ]

Black Man: Okay, Stella!

[ they re-enter the apartment. Audience cheers. ]

[ fade ]

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