Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 3: Episode 1


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:



Cameos:

Bit Players:


September 24th, 1977

Steve Martin

Jackson Browne

Al Franken

Tom Davis

None

Andy Murphy

Rosie Shuster

Jim Downey

Alan Zweibel

Neil Levy

Tom Schiller

Akira Yoshimura

An Oval Office
Summary: Bert Lance (John Belushi) uses the National Express credit card to pay for his debts.

Recurring Characters: President Jimmy Carter.

Transcript


Montage


Steve Martin's Monologue
Summary: Steve Martin wants to find a tiny pair of handcuffs for his embezzling cat.

First Hosted: 76e.

Transcript


Kromega III
Summary: The watch so powerful that it takes three hands to operate.

Transcript


The Festrunk Brothers
Summary: A pair of Czechoslavakian brothers who ran from the tanks, Jorge (Steve Martin) and Yortuk Festrunk (Dan Aykroyd) try to pick up a pair of women (Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner) playing Ping-Pong in their apartment building's rec room.

Recurring Characters: Jorge Festrunk, Yortuk Festrunk.

Transcript


Jackson Browne performs "Runnin' on Empty"


Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan Aykroyd
Summary: Laraine Newman recaps her visit to the Mao Tse-tung death anniversary. Bill Murray reviews "The Deep". Garrett Morris comments on the week's sports stories. John Belushi recaps his selection for a Weekend Update scholarship fund.

Transcript


Mike McMack, Defense Lawyer
Summary: Defense lawyer Mike McMack (Steve Martin) makes a pass at the rape victim (Gilda Radner) whose case he helped throw out of court.

Transcript


Computerized Confession
Summary: A priest (Dan Aykroyd) uses a computer to determine the penance for a man (Garrett Morris) who confesses to an adulterous relationship he has been carrying on.

Transcript


Great Moments In Rock & Roll
Summary: Groupie Alice Sloane (Laraine Newman) recounts her brief relationship with Roy Orbison (John Belushi), of whom she only knew to stand perfectly still while singing and wearing dark shades.

Recurring Characters: Roy Orbison.

Transcript


The Franken & Davis Show
Summary: Al Franken and Tom Davis play the finalists in the Mr. U.S.A. Pageant.

Recurring Characters: Anita Bryant.


Royal Deluxe II
Summary: The vehicle that rides smooth enough to allow a rabbi to perform a circumcision in the back seat.

Transcript


Jackson Browne performs "The Pretender"


Goodnights
Transcript



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