Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 3: Episode 4


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


October 29th, 1977

Charles Grodin

Paul Simon

The Persuasions

Art Garfunkel

Al Franken

Tom Davis

Alan Zweibel

Michael O'Donoghue

Neil Levy

Tom Schiller

Unprepared Charles
Summary: The cast are upset when Charles Grodin misses dress rehearsal so he can buy gifts for everyone.

Transcript


Montage


Charles Grodin's Monologue
Summary: Charles Grodin confesses that he didn't realize there would be an audience, and he wishes he had put more time aside to rehearse.

Transcript


Weekend Update Promo
Summary: While the rest of the world sleeps, a groggy-eyed Dan Aykroyd stays awake to prepare the next night's news.

Transcript


Return of The Coneheads
Summary: Back on Earth in time for Halloween, The Conehead Family dispense fried egg embryos and beer to trick-or-treaters.

Recurring Characters: Beldar Conehead, Prymaat Conehead, Connie Conehead.

Transcript


Charles' Movie


Paul Simon performs "Slip Sliding Away"
First Performed: 75b.


Consumer Probe
Summary: Irwin Mainway's (Dan Aykroyd) unsafe Halloween costumes include the Invisible Pedestrian and Johnny Combat.

Recurring Characters: Irwin Mainway.

Transcript


The "Anyone Can Host" Contest
Summary: Bill Murray updates viewers on the contest's progress as Michael O'Donoghue rejects entries for various minor infractions.

Transcript


Samurai Dry Cleaners
Summary: Impressed by the premise, Charles Grodin ruins John Belushi's performance as Samurai Futaba by commenting on it throughout the sketch.

Recurring Characters: Futaba.

Transcript


Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan Aykroyd
Summary: Entertainment reporter Bill Murray criticizes one-man shows for not being a real theatrical experience. Dr. Willard Jackson (Garrett Morris) shows Dan Aykroyd the bones of famous dead people.


Simon & Garfunkel
Summary: Paul Simon is vexed by Charles Grodin's need to do a duet with him while donning an Art Garfunkel wig, which Art Garfunkel himself relinquishes.

Transcript


The Killer Bees
Summary: Thrown by the costumes, Charles Grodin ruins John Belushi's performance as the leader of the Killer Bees and is promptly told off.

Recurring Characters: Bees.

Transcript


The Judy Miller Show
Summary: Judy Miller (Gilda Radner), an excitable little girl, hosts a talk show for herself in her bedroom.

Recurring Characters: Judy Miller.

Transcript


The Professional School of Football
Summary: Spokesman (Garrett Morris) quizzes viewers on their potential to become professional football players.

Transcript


Paul Simon performs "You're Kind"


Hire The Incompetent
Summary: Dress rehearsal absentee Charles Grodin speaks out for the rights of other incompetent people.

Recurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript



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