Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 3: Episode 8




77h: Miskel Spillman / Elvis Costello

Miskell Spillman's Monologue

.....Buck Henry
.....Miskel Spillman

Buck Henry: Thank you. You want me to take that from you..? [ reaches for Mrs. Spillman's fruit basket ] No.. of course not.

[ Buck addresses the audience ]

A few weeks ago, if you'll remember, there was a contest running, called the "Anyone Can Host the Saturday Night Show" contest. There were.. many thousands of entries - 150,000, roughly - and there were five finalists that I had the privilege of presenting a few weeks ago. And the final votes were tabulated by, services provided by Ventura Associates. And tonight, by a proximate margin of 15,000 votes, I am honored and pleased to present the winner.. [ tries to take the fruit basket, but is resisted by Mrs. Spillman ] ..of the "Anyone Can Host" contest, your hostess for tonight, Mrs. Miskel Spillman!

[ wild applause from audience ]

Mrs. Spillman, I know that there are probably a number of things that you want to say to the great American audience.

Miskel Spillman: [ still high from John Belushi's Maui Waui ] Wow! This is really weird! There's so much happening. But it almsot seems like everything's in slow motion. I mean.. am I making sense? Or am I blowing it? I don't know, I can't tell. The producer, a nice young man, told me to just flow with it and have a good time. But I didn't really know what he meant.. until Belushi visited me in my dressing room. And the colors. Wow-ow!

Buck Henry: We'll be right back.


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