Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 12

This free script provided by

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

February 25th, 1978

O.J. Simpson

Ashford & Simpson

Al Franken

Tom Davis


Don Novello

Mitchell Laurance

Neil Levy

Tom Schiller

Anne Beatts

Yvonne Hudson

Audience Questions
Summary: Stumped for an original opening for the show, Gilda Radner fields selected questions from audience members named Kevin.



O.J. Simpson's Monologue
Summary: While wearing a conehead, O.J. Simpson tells the audience how he achieved his various life goals, including gaining the opportunity to host "SNL".

Samurai Night Fever
Summary: Futuba (John Belushi) hits the dance floor and introduces disco to his brother (O.J. Simpson) the fallen priest.

Recurring Characters: Futaba.

Great Moments In Sports
Summary: A beer-guzzling Babe Ruth (John Belushi) can't keep good on his promise to hit a home run for a sick boy (Garrett Morris).

Recurring Characters: Babe Ruth.


Ashford & Simpson perform "So, So Satisfied"

Mohawk Master
Summary: Spokesman (Dan Aykroyd) uses dual clippers to perfect his punk look.

The Raid On Nicosia
Summary: Recent events are the focus of a star-studded TV-movie.

Recurring Characters: Robert Stack, Ed Asner, Tony Orlando, Valerie Harper.

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan Aykroyd
Summary: O.J. Simpson is named during an interview in the locker room with Laraine Newman. Roseanne Roseannadanna's (Gilda Radner) comments on dental hygeine take a gross turn.

Recurring Characters: Roseanne Roseannadanna.

Football Voodoo

The Franken & Davis Show
Summary: Al Franken attempts to perform jokes with Tom Davis despite suffering from a massive brain tumor.

Mandingo II
Summary: Masters and slaves reign hot passion in the ultimate censor test.

E. Buzz Miller's Animal Kingdom
Summary: E. Buzz Miller (Dan Aykroyd) gets excited while watching videos of various insects performing copulation.

Recurring Characters: E. Buzz Miller, Christy Christina.


Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.

Ashford & Simpson perform "Don't Cost You Nothing"

Celebrity Battle of the Sexes & Races
Summary: Phyllis George (Jane Curtin) covers the scene at the Celebrity Battle of the Sexes & Races, in which Black men O.J. Simpson and Leon Spinks (Garrett Morris) compete against White women Sandy Duncan (Laraine Newman) and Marie Osmond (Gilda Radner).

Recurring Characters: Brent Musburger, Sandy Duncan, Marie Osmond, Leon Spinks.


SNL Transcripts

| Time Warner Cable | Cable TV Providers | Charter Cable