Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 4: Episode 1





78a: The Rolling Stones

Reuniting The Beatles

President Jimmy Carter.....Dan Aykroyd
John Lennon.....John Belushi
Paul McCartney.....Bill Murray

[ open on exterior, White House ]

Walter Cronkite V/O: And now we take you to the White House, where President Carter has a surprise announcement.

[ dissolve to interior, Oval Office ]

President Jimmy Carter: Good evening. The success of the Camp David summit two weeks ago is a great accomplishment for the entire world, as well as for myself. After I looked at those polls, I said to myself, "Jimmy... why don't you just keep doing what you do best -- bringing people with seemingly irreconcilable differences together, and making them see that there is a common ground on which to base agreement?" For the last thirteen days, unbeknownst to the press, I've been meeting secretly at Camp David with Mr. John Lennon and Mr. Paul McCartney.

[ reveal Lennon and McCartney in a wide shot ]

The success of our talks far exceeded our expectations. And I'm happy to announce that we've agreed to sign a document called "A Framework for the Reunion of The Beatles".

[ cut to stock footage of a crowd applauding ]

Now... there still are some disagreements. A lot depends on the availablity of George and Ringo to join in the negotiations, but... Secretary Vance will leave tomorrow for London to meet with George, and... we feel confident that Ringo will do anything. If everything goes well, The Beatles will launch a 30-city tour of the United States sometime, hopefully, before November 1980. Plus: The Beatles will release an original long-play record album, which I'm proud to predict will be shipped double-platinum.

Allow me now to read some of the key terms of the framework:

* Richard "Ringo" Starkey will play percussion, drums at all Beatle concerts, however, in the recording studio, Mr. Starkey's performance may or may not be required on certain selections at the discretion of Mr. Paul McCartney.

* George Harrison will be limited to one song per album, considering matters pertaining to the Indian subcontinent.

* Yoko Ono will not sing, hum, scream, hum, talk, or make any vocal sounds on any Beatle album or during any live Beatle performance.

[ applause from the crowd ]

* Linda Eastman McCartney will not sing, hum, scream, murmer, talk, or play a tambourine on any Beatle album or during any live Beatle performance.

[ applause from the crowd ]

These two men, my friends, each made painful concessions in the spirit of compromise. [ he holds both their hands ] But if it hadn't been for may people, working behind the scenes, we wouldn't be here tonight. And I especially want to thank Secretary Simon Vance and Smokey Robinson. I guess you could say it was a long and winding road... but, as I said to Paul and John as we flew here from Camp David, "I think that we proved that, in the end, as someone once said, 'The love you take is equal to the love you make.'"

[ applause from the crowd ]

Paul McCartney: Let me say this about my friend President Carter: this man has great, great courage, and he worked night and day and so did we. We usually didn't get to bed until three or four in the morning, and then we'd get up again around three or four in the afternoon. The President was already up and working!

John Lennon: That's right. As you know, Paul and I have our disagreements, but we've promised President Carter that we would write our first new song together in about three months. Paul, I hope we do it longer than three months -- I mean, sooner than three months. Sorry, Paul.

[ Lennon and McCartney stand up and hug, as "The End" plays in the background and President Carter beams proudly ]

[ dissolve to exterior, White House ]

[ fade ]


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