Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 4: Episode 1






78a: The Rolling Stones

The NBC Theme

Announcer.....Dan Aykroyd
Conductor.....Howard Shore
Pianist.....Paul Shaffer
Garrett Morris, Vocal Stylist.....Garrett Morris
1st Girl Singer.....Laraine Newman
2nd Girl Singer.....Jane Curtin
3rd Girl Singer.....Gilda Radner

[BLACK SCREEN as the NBC chimes ring out their famous three notes.]

Announcer's Voice: It's exactly eleven-thirty Bulova Watch time.

[Lights come up to reveal bespectacled 1930s-era radio announcer standing in front of an ancient NBC radio microphone, with one hand to his ear and the other clutching a yellow sheet of paper from which he reads:]

Announcer: And now from Studio 8-H in New York's famed Rockefeller Center, the Red network joins the Blue to bring you Howard Shore and the National Broadcasting Orchestra, featuring the vocal stylings of Mr. Garrett Morris.

[Howard Shore, fronting a big band, conducts as a xylophonist plays the NBC notes on her instrument. Paul Shaffer answers in kind at a white grand piano. Everyone wears tuxedoes and evening gowns. A large Art Deco sign behind them reads: HOWARD SHORE AND HIS SOUNDS. As the rest of the band joins in, Garrett Morris steps to the microphone, which the Announcer thoughtfully adjusts for him, and begins to sing -- with dapper, yet passionate elegance -- an obscure song written sometime in the 1930s, "I Love You":]

Garrett Morris: [sings the verse]
On the NBC tonight, you'll hear three tones ring out They have a special meaning so here's what it's all about...

[A trio of what used to be called "girl singers" (Laraine Newman, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner) rise from chairs in front of the piano and approach an adjacent microphone to join in on the opening line of the chorus:]

1st Girl Singer: I...

2nd Girl Singer: ... love ...

3rd Girl Singer: ... you ...

Garrett Morris: Three little tones have just had their say.

1st Girl Singer: I...

2nd Girl Singer: ... love ...

3rd Girl Singer: ... you ...

[The girl singers sit back down as Garrett sings the rest of the chorus himself.]

Garrett Morris:
"Funny but, honey, that's what they say.
Chimes have rung,
The program's done
My love song has just begun!

Turn the dial of your heart.
Tune into my station.
Though we may be miles apart,
Your radio
Tells you I know.


Listen, dear,
Can't you hear?"


[The trio rises and joins in on the last line of the chorus:]

All Singers: I love you!

[As the performers begin another half-chorus of the song, the trio takes over:]

Girl Singers:
"Turn the dial of your heart.
Tune into our station.
Though we may be miles apart ..."


[The trio simultaneously shoot a glance at Garret and the camera pans over to him as he picks up the lyric:]

Garrett Morris:
"... Your radio
Tells you I know.
Listen, dear,
Can't you hear?"


All Singers: I love you!

[The xylophonist plays the three notes one last time as the band brings the song to a finish. The singers sit as the audience applauds. The announcer strides to the microphone, places his hand to his ear and, with a grin, says calmly:]

Announcer: And now, live from New York, it's Saturday Night.


Submitted Anonymously


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