Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 4: Episode 3







78c: Frank Zappa

NBC's New Image

Fred Silverman ... John Belushi

[Seated at his desk, NBC president Fred Silverman, wearing a suit and tie, addresses the camera.]

Fred Silverman: Good evening, I'm Fred Silverman. Last June, when I became president of NBC, I vowed that this network would undergo significant changes to reflect what you, the American TV viewer, wanted to see. In the four months since I've been its president, NBC has undertaken the most extensive research campaign in the history of television. The results indicated that you, the American TV viewer, want something different, a new look -- a new look with new faces. [holds up reams of computer paper] And, surprisingly, in all our data -- the Trendex, Arbitron, and Nielsen surveys -- all arrows pointed to one person. Over and over again, one man's name came up. And that man's name ... is Frank Zappa. [Cheers and applause.] Quite frankly - quite frankly, no one was more surprised, you know, as I was. I thought it'd be Tony Orlando. Personally, I stopped following Zappa after his Mothers Live at the Fillmore album. Although, that burrito thing still makes me laugh. [laughs, quickly recovers] But the American people spoke and NBC listened. And I am proud to announce that we have signed Frank Zappa to a long-term, exclusive contract ... [holds up a contract with a gigantic "FRANK ZAPPA" signature scribbled across the bottom - cheers and applause] ... with the National Broadcasting Company. And you'll be NBCeeing a lot of Frank. Hey, and I'm not CBSing you, either. Yes, the entire NBC star-making machinery is behind Frank Zappa. This January, he'll be starring in his own situation comedy as a high school basketball coach on "The Zappa Wonders." And here tonight, to unveil NBC's new look, Frank Zappa! Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!


Submitted Anonymously


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