Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 4: Episode 18




78r: Michael Palin / James Taylor

Fred Silverman

Fred Silverman.....John Belushi

Fred Silverman: Ladies and gentlemen, in the past few weeks you may have been reading and hearing reports that talk about bad times at NBC. They say that Fred Silverman has been President for one year, instead of making things better, he's actually made them worse. Ladies and gentlemen, this is partially not true. It's not one year - I've only been President for 11 months. And when I took over NBC 11 short months ago, I didn't promise any miracles. I knew that I was taking on a challenge that was just about impossible to wing. I was given absolutely nothing to work with. I inherited shows that even I considered stupid and inane! I said to myself, if I only I had a "Mork & Mindy", if only I had a "New Newlywed Game"! But when I came to this network, I didn't even have a "Hello, Larry!" But now, I do.

[ show picture of McLean Stevenson ]

And how about Gary Cloleman, huh? Where did he come from? Whose idea was this Gary Coleman? [ Gary Coleman picture appears ] It was mine, that's who! And who was it who talked Johnny Carson out of quitting? [ show picture of Johnny Carson ] It was me, that's who! And who was it who talked Tom Snyder out of quitting? [ show picture of Tom Snyder ] It was me, that's who! Why doesn't the press ever mention any of our successes? Why don't they mention that I'm developing a new line-up in the Fall, with exciting performers like Bob Hope and Robert Blake? You know, they only keep repeating that joke, that if someone brought me Hamlet, that I'd put a dog in it. I wouldn't put a dog in it. I might put Gary Coleman in it, though..

[ show picture of Gary Coleman again ]

He's brilliant, he can do anything! I've gotten to know this young man over the past 11 months, and I have found that, besides liking the same foods, we also share similar tastes in programming. In fact, we are of exactly the same mind on almost everything! I only wish I would have listened to him about "Supertrain". Unlike a lot of people around here, he's not afraid to voice his opinion. He's a person who's not afraid to say "I like it", or "I don't like it", you know? His decisiveness has inspired me to have more faith in my own personal taste in opinions. And so, today, I am naming Gary Coleman as my new Chief Assistant, with the title of Executive Vice-President of NBC! Gary Coleman! Some say that Gary is too young to be a network executive; but some say no, 11 is old enough. Personally, I think age is not important. It's wisdom that counts, and guts. That's why Gary and I have decided to take a bold programming gamble, and move most of our Saturday morning programs to prime-time in the Fall!

But now.. "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!


SNL Transcripts