Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 4: Episode 20

78t: Buck Henry / Bette Midler

Michael O'Donoghue's Elvis Impression / Goodnights

.....Buck Henry
.....Michael O'Donoghue

Buck Henry: Ladies and gentlemen, the spectacular impressions of Mr. Michael O'Donoghue.

[Applause. Music. Bearded, bespectacled Michael O'Donoghue -- perhaps better known as "Mr. Mike" -- strides onstage]

Michael O'Donoghue: Thank you very much. And, uh, thank you, Buck... You know, in the past, um, twenty or thirty years, we've seen a lot of rock and roll stars come and go. But there was one man, one man who stayed on top right from the very beginning and I guess that's why they called him ... the King. And of course I'm speaking about ... Mr. Elvis Presley. [Applause] Yes! Yes! There was a man...! [O'Donoghue joins applause. Applause stops] You know, when Elvis died ... I think a small piece of all of us died with him. I know that's how it was with me. I was home watching television the other afternoon and I happened to catch Spinout, a great Presley movie with an incredible cast -- Nancy Sinatra, Bill Bixby. [TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Presley's 1966 film Spinout does not feature Sinatra and Bixby -- they appear in Presley's 1968 film Speedway. An understandable error on O'Donoghue's part.] I was watching this movie and a funny thought occurred to me. I thought, what if someone took steel needles, say, mm, fifteen, eighteen inches long and plunged them, plunged them into Elvis Presley's ... eyes. What would his reaction be? We can only guess ... but I think it might go something like this...

[turns his back to the camera, pulls up shirt collar over his neck, removes eyeglasses and pockets them, then spins quickly, his right hand clutched to his eyes, screaming, shrieking at the top of his lungs. He staggers, collapses to the floor, tries to get up. Laughter and applause as O'Donoghue falls off stage and rolls into audience. ]

[Buck Henry returns to shout something to the crowd as the band begins to play the closing theme. O'Donoghue continues screaming, struggling through the audience and bumping into startled audience members as the final credits roll and the cast, host Buck Henry, and musical guest Bette Midler gather at center stage and wave good night, Bill Murray hopping up and down and dancing along with the music, etc.]

Submitted Anonymously

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