78t: Buck Henry / Bette Midler
Not For Transsexuals Only
Joan Face ... Jane Curtin
Lynn Hagstrom ... Laraine Newman
Chris Randolph ... Buck Henry
[GRAPHIC: NOT FOR TRANSSEXUALS ONLY - MUSIC: "Both
Sides Now": "I've looked at life from both sides now /
From give and take / And still somehow ..." -
Dissolve to talk show set and host Joan Face.]
Joan Face: Good evening and welcome to "Not For
Transsexuals Only" -- I'm Joan Face. Our guests today
are both recent transsexuals. First, Chris Randolph,
one of thousands of men who have opted for womanhood.
[bespectacled guy in a wig, blouse and pantsuit with
legs crossed] And Mr. Lynn Hagstrom, one of the few
women ever to become a man. [mustachioed woman wearing
necktie, legs spread apart] Lynn, yours was an
extremely unusual operation. Can you tell us about
Lynn Hagstrom: Uh, yeah, Joan. It wasn't easy.
I had to wait a year and a half until they found a
male donor with the same color hair.
Joan Face: And, uh, for our donors'
information, ah, that - that - uh - or for our
viewers' information, that donor was, ah, Ms.
Randolph. Lynn, what's it like suddenly being
Lynn Hagstrom: Well, it's, uh, it's quite an
adjustment, I'd say. In my case, a big
Chris Randolph: Thank you.
Joan Face: Chris, do you feel that you gave
more to Lynn than - than he gave you?
Chris Randolph: Well, well, I did but I was
glad to give it to someone who wanted it and who would
take good care of it. I hate the idea of something
like that going to waste.
Lynn Hagstrom: Yeah, and I - I did take Chris
out for dinner.
Chris Randolph: In my case, a big dinner.
Joan Face: Then we can conclude that you two
see each other socially.
Lynn Hagstrom: Oh, sure, but we're just good
Chris Randolph: We've decided not to get
emotionally involved because when I'm around Lynn I
feel sort of - detached.
Joan Face: Lynn, what was the first change that
you noticed after the operation?
Lynn Hagstrom: Well, you know I get paid more
for doing the same job?
Joan Face: Well, uh, have - have either of you
had any second thoughts about switching
Chris Randolph: Not at all. I love this year's
clothes. The colors are so gutsy.
Joan Face: And how 'bout you, Lynn? Any
Lynn Hagstrom: Well, I think I miss getting
taken out to dinner and having my cigarettes lit for
me and - being slapped around a little.
Joan Face: Chris, what are your plans for the
Chris Randolph: Well, I guess I'm just an
old-fashioned girl, Joan. I'm looking for Mr.
Joan Face: And Lynn?
Lynn Hagstrom: Well, Joan, I'd like to, uh,
pork as many broads as possible and ... then settle
down with the one who really loves me.
Chris Randolph: Say, Joan, I've always
wondered. Why are you the host of "Not For
Joan Face: Well, I used to be Edd "Kookie"
Byrnes. That's it for this week. This is Joan Face
saying: join us again next week on "Not For
Transsexuals Only" when our guests will be Carol
Channing and Wayne Newton.
[Applause. MUSIC: "Both Sides Now" - Joan shakes
Chris' hand as we slowly zoom in on sign at back of
set that reads: NOT FOR TRANSSEXUALS ONLY. Dissolve to
bumper photo of Buck Henry in