Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 5: Episode 1















79a: Steve Martin / Blondie

Great Moments In Rock History

Don Kirschner.....Paul Shaffer
Carole King.....Laraine Newman
Henry......Steve Martin
Mugger.....Garrett Morris

[ open on title card ]

[ dissolve to Don Kirschner in studio ]

Don Kirschner: I'm Don Kirschner... and welcome to "Great Moments in Rock History"! A show that tells the stories behind the hits... the loves, the fears, the anxieties, the depressings, the inspirations... which come together... to make up... the rock and roll industry! Tonight... "Great Moments" looks... at a great lady: Miss Carole King! For most, it is impossible to pinpoint... the greatest moment in an artist's career... but not for me, Don Kirschner! To ME... Carole King's GREATEST moment... was when she wrote her GREATEST hit... "You've Got A Friend"! So, tonight, "Great Moments"... takes you... to Upper West Side, New York... where Carole King's GREATEST moment... becomes our GREAT Moment... in Rock History!

[ image pixellates to exterior stoop of Carole King's apartment ]

[ the door opens, as Carole and a male friend step outside ]

Henry: Please, Carole! I think I should stay the night, I -- I gotta TALK to somebody, I feel so -- so -- confused and depressed!

Carole King: Listen, Henry -- you know, I know how you feel, honey, I really do. It's just that I'm on a roll, I'm 90% finished with this song!

Henry: Carole. I know you've always been there for me. Tonight, I don't know what -- I just feel depressed. I don't know what I'm gonna do! [ he breaks into tears ]

Carole King: [ consoling him ] Hey, listen -- I know. I've been there before. But, listen, I want you to go home and phone me when you get there. You promise me you'll do that, because I'm worried about you. Will you do that?

Henry: [ nodding ] Okay.

Carole King: Okay.

[ she kisses him, then promptly shuts the door into his dejected face ]

[ Henry slowly walks down the steps of the stoop, as Carole appears at the piano in the bay window and begins to play and sing ]

Carole King: [ singing ]
"When you're down and troubled
And you need someone to care
And nothing, nothing's going right..."

[ as Henry reaches the sidewalk, a Mugger rises from behind the stoop and holds a switchblade to Henry's face ]

Mugger: Okaaayyy, honkie, give me your cash!

Henry: [ smiling ] You can't get away with this! [ he points toward the window ] I've got a friend in there -- all I have to do is call! Listen -- you can hear her sing!

Mugger: Uh, yeah, yeah -- I hear, man.

Henry: See! I'll just call her!

Mugger: Yeah, I'm shakin', man.

[ the Mugger stabs Henry in the chest with his switchblade, then grabs his wallet from his back pocket and walks away ]

Carole King: [ singing ]
"You just call out my name..."

Henry: [ bleeding profusely ] CAROLE!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"And you know whereever I am..."

Henry: PLEASE, CAROLE!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"I'll come running..."

Henry: HURRY, CAROLE!!! RUN!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"...to see you again..."

Henry: CAROLE, CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"Winter, spring, summer, or fall..."

Henry: NOW, CAROLE!! NOW!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"All you gotta do is call..."

Henry: CAR-OLLLLLE!!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"And I'll be there..."

Henry: I'M ALMOST DEAD, CAROLE!!! HELP ME, CAROLE!!!

[ Carole stands up and walks over to the open window ]

Henry: OH, CAROLE!! THANK YOU!!

[ Carole slams the window shut ]

Henry: CARO-O-O-OLLLLE!!!

Carole King: [ continues singing ]
"Don't you know, that you've got a friend."

Henry: CAROLE, I NEED YOU!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"People can be so cold. They'll hurt you..."

Henry: I'VE BEEN HU-U-URT!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"...and desert you."

Henry: I'VE BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"And they'll take your soul if you let them."

Henry: I THINK HE PUNCTURED MY KIDNEY IN HERE!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"Oh, but don't you let them..."

Henry: I'M DYING NOW, CAROLE!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"You just call out my name..."

Henry: CAROLE KI-I-I-INNNGGG!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"...and you know wherever I am."

Henry: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, CAROLE?!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"I'll come running..."

Henry: CAROLE!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"...to see you again."

Henry: CAROLE..!!"

Carole King: [ singing ]
"Oh... Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall..."

Henry: [ whispery ] Carole...

Carole King: [ singing ]
"All you've got to do is call."

Henry: CAROLLLLE!!!!!!

Carole King: [ singing ]
"And I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend."

[ Henry's eyes glaze over and he dies ]

Carole King: [ singing ]
"Ain't it good to know, you've got a friend."

[ the song complete, Caroel stands and turns out the lights ]

[ screen pixellates back to Don Kirschner ]

Don Kirschner: Carole King's friend, Henry Adelman, died on arrival... at Lennox Hill Hospital... but he did not die in vain... for his death provided Carole with the inspiration... for another million-selling monster hit... "It's Too Late, Baby"! See you next week... for another "Great Moment in Rock History."

[ fade ]


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