What If? Lifestyle of Spartacus (Douglas) is pondered.
The Micro Dentists They shrink in size to fix Anwar Sadat's (Garrett Morris) teeth.
Sam & Dave performs "You Don't Know Like I Know"
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill Murray Ronald Reagan (Harry Shearer) demonstrates some off-color jokes in new commercial. Al Franken wants to reinstate the draft so he won't have to go to war. Recurring Characters: Ronald Reagan.
Nick Collins Drunken Nick (Bill Murray) performs at a bar mitzvah. Recurring Characters: Nick the Lounge Singer.
Prime Time Saturday Tom Snyder (Harry Shearer) interviews the brothers of Republican Party candidates. Recurring Characters: Tom Snyder.
Kirk's Greatest Kirks Douglas does impressions of people who do impressions of him.
"Mask Of Fear" Tom Schiller film forces break-invictims to go skiing.
Sam & Dave perform "Soul Man"
Sardi's Bathroom attendant (Gilda Radner) asks for Douglas' autograph.