Kirk Douglas' Monologue

.....Kirk Douglas

Kirk Douglas: Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's great to be back in New York, and alive!

You know, coming here is like coming home. I went to a dramatic school just up on 57th Street, and I worked in theaters just a few blocks from here. Of course, I was never in a Broadway hit. The plays usually ran about one performance, then I'd go back to California, make a movie, and then I'd come back to New York and do another play - for one night - and back to California, and here I am doing a one-night stand!

I think maybe that's why they asked me. But I want to tell you something - television is really rough. It's not like movies - there's no retakes, it's scary, it's like you're walking a tight wire and there's no net. But I don't know, I have a feeling it's going to be okay. You see, I have four sons, and, thanks to Michael, I now have a grandson! Now, I don't have any daughters. But.. I do have a beautiful godchild - Alexandra. She came up all the way from Washington, and she's sitting right there.

[ points her out in the audience, then walks down to her ]

You know, Alexandra is really my most loyal fan. Now, when I make a movie, no matter what the critics say, Alexandra writes me a letter right away, and she says, "Dear Uncle Kirk: I saw your last movie, you were terrific!" So, now, Alexandra, if these people don't like this show tonight, you send that letter right away!

We'll see you all later!

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