Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 5: Episode 13

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

March 8th, 1980

Rodney Dangerfield

The J. Geils Band


Jerry Mathers

Tony Dow

Yvonne Hudson

Matt Neuman

Sarah Paley

Alan Zweibel

Andy Murphy

Rodney's Dressing Room
Summary: Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) bunks up in Rodney Dangerfield's dressing room and brings in visitors to help invade the small space.

Recurring Characters: Father Guido Sarducci.



Rodney Dangerfield's Monologue
Summary: Rodney Dangerfield jokes about his lack of respect in life.


Summary: Spokesman (Harry Shearer) promotes the authentic gold coin that celebrates the African miners who dug it up.


Dr. Shockley's House of Sperm
Summary: Dangerfield tries to keep up with townspeople who crave his sperm donation.


The J. Geils Band performs "Love Stinks"

Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Bill Murray
Summary: Bill Murray questions Tony Dow and Jerry Mathers about the latter's Vietnam War death rumor. Father Guido Sarducci interviews a recipient of a nationality-change operation.

Recurring Characters: Father Guido Sarducci.


Summary: Nightclub comedian Rodney Davis (Rodney Dangerfield) ponders whether or not a relationship with 10-year old Tracy (Laraine Newman) is right for him.

Road To Moscow
Summary: Curt Gowdy (Harry Shearer) asks athletes whether President Carter's boycott of the Summer Games in Moscow will hurt the Russians or American athletes.

Next Week
Summary: Gilda Radner and Jane Curtin announces that next week is "SNL"'s 100th episode.

Substitute Judge
Summary: A substitute judge (Brian Doyle-Murray) deals with an unruly courtroom trying to take advantage of him.


The J. Geils Band performs "Sanctuary"

America on the Job
Summary: A salute to the men and women who inspect shirts manufactured in America.


SNL Transcripts