Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 6: Episode 2


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:

November 22nd, 1980

Malcolm McDowell

Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band

None

None

Andy Murphy

Matthew Laurance

Eddie Murphy

The Execution
Summary: A boisterous mother (Denny Dillon) instructs her son (Gilbert Gottfried) to sit up straight in the electric chair before he's executed.

Transcript


Montage


Malcolm McDowell's Monologue
Summary: English actor Malcolm McDowell explains how he had to get his U.S. work permit renewed so he could host the show tonight.

Transcript


Mutually Omaha's Wild Kingdom
Summary: Jim Fowler (Joe Piscopo) goes off in search of that exotic beast - the Negro Republican.

Note: Eddie Murphy, who had been hanging around the studio after repeatedly trying to be added to the cast, makes his debut in this sketch, albeit sitting on the couch with no lines while an uncredited extra plays the role of the black man. Murphy took great offense to this misuse of his talents.

Transcript


Tobacco Growers of America
Summary: Tobacco Growers spokesman Joseph Richman (Gilbert Gottfried) claims the human lung is to blame for lung cancer, not cigarettes.

Transcript


Serf City
Summary: Earl (Malcolm McDowell) and Lord Jack (Charles Rocket) make a sport of riding on the backs of lowly peasants.

Transcript


The Reagans Adopt Amy Carter
Summary: Following Inaugueration Day, Ronald (Charles Rocket) and Nancy Reagan (Gail Matthius) adopt Amy Carter (Denny Dillon) so they can provide her with a proper privileged lifestyle.

Recurring Characters: Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan, Amy Carter.


American Milk Association
Summary: Alex de Large (Malcolm McDowell), from "A Clockwork Orange", speaks highly of moloko.


"Showdown"
Summary: In a film by Ken Friedman, a romantic conflict begats a Wild West-style shootout.


Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band performs "Hot Head"


Weekend Update with Charles Rocket
Summary: Charles Rocket conducts a video interview with Yoko Ono (Denny Dillon) and house husband John Lennon (Malcolm McDowell). Joe Piscopo uses Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots to predict the results of the Roberto Duran-Sugar Ray Leonard rematch. Commenting on last week's show, Dr. Murray Abromowitz (Gilbert Gottfried) says it wasn't funny.

Recurring Characters: John Lennon, Yoko Ono.

Transcript


Gothic Novel Shop
Summary: A bookstore owner (Malcolm McDowell) specializing in gothic romance novels goes out of his way to meet the specific reading needs of a wonton customer (Ann Risley).


"The 100 Years War"
Summary: A quick summary of the 100 Years War, as told through a University Extension Course in World History.


The Leather Weather Report
Summary: Dominatrix Thelma Thunder (Denny Dillon) beats the man (Charles Rocket) stretched across her map while giving the weather forecast.

Transcript


Commie Hunting Season
Summary: The governor (Malcolm McDowell) of Greensboro, North Carolina lays down the ground rules as local rednecks with itchy trigger fingers look forward to shooting Commies on the first day of the new hunting season.


The Rocket Report
Summary: Charles Rocket bothers people while strolling along 5th Avenue.

Transcript


Jack The Stripper
Summary: Dame Lydia Snoot (Malcolm McDowell) searches for the notorious Jack the Stripper, who turns out to be Prince Charles (Charles Rocket) working the exotic dance circuit.

Recurring Characters: Prince Charles.


Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band performs "Ashtray Heart"


"Someone Is Hiding In My Apartment"
Summary: In a film by Mitchell Kriegman, a man (Mitchell Kriegman) fears an unknown presence in his apartment whom he appears to be involved with in a relationship.


The Wine Cellar
Summary: Carolyn Parker (Denny Dillon) dismisses fancy French wines and proper American wines to go with American junk foods.


Goodnights
Transcript



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