Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 6: Episode 3

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


December 6th, 1980

Ellen Burstyn

Aretha Franklin

Keith Sykes


Mitchell Kriegman

A Message From David Rockefeller
Summary: David Rockefeller (Charles Rocket) announces that the United States is going co-op and poor people will be emigrated back to poor countries.



Ellen Burstyn's Monologue
Summary: Ellen Burstyn lists her movie roles and admits it's time she lightened up.


Ed McMahon School of Laughing
Summary: Spokesperson (Joe Piscopo) explains how you can become a studio audience member and get paid for laughing like the very best.

What's It All About
Summary: Pinky (Denny Dillon) and Leo Waxman (Gilbert Gottfried) interview Ellen Burstyn.

Recurring Characters: Pinky Waxman, Leo Waxman.

The Rocket Report
Summary: Charles Rocket uncovers a sex expose on a ferry leaving New York.

Video Date
Summary: Jersey guy Paulie Herman (Joe Piscopo) records a dating video.

Recurring Characters: Paulie Herman.

Aretha Franklin performs "United Together"

Weekend Update with Charles Rocket
Summary: Joe Piscopo comments on the Roberto Duran vs. Sugar Ray Leonard fight. Raheem Abdul Muhammed (Eddie Murphy) gives his stance on the quota for white basketball players issue. Dr. Calvin Zuko (Gilbert Gottfried) comments on the myth of the female orgasm.

Recurring Characters: Raheem Abdul Muhammed.

Our Front Door
Summary: A suburban family examines a junkie's (Charles Rocket) lifestyle.

"Pepe Gonzales"
Summary: In a film by Leon Ichaso, the life of Pepe Gonzalez (Gilbert Gottfried), the only bullfighter in New York, is examined.

Planned Parenthood
Summary: Valley girls Vickie (Gail Matthius) and Debbie (Denny Dillon) visit Planned Parenthood.

Recurring Characters: Vickie, Debbie.

Aretha Franklin performs "Can't Turn You Loose"

Sam The Snake
Summary: Mary Louise (Denny Dillon) terrorizes her tutor (Ellen Burstyn) with a sock puppet.

The Toni Tennille Show
Summary: Toni Tennille (Ann Risley) interviews murderess Jean Harris (Denny Dillon).

"Fish Heads"
Summary: In a music video by Bill Paxton, many uses are found for discarded fish heads.

Note: One of the most popular songs to ever hit the radio airwaves via the syndicated Dr. Demento program.

Blame The Kids
Summary: Mom (Ann Risley) and Dad (Charles Rocket) blame their divorce on their two kids (Mitchell Kriegman, Gail Matthius).

Keith Sykes performs "B.I.G.T.I.M.E."

The Old Lady
Summary: A school girl (Gail Matthius) uncovers the secret of the scary old lady (Ellen Burstyn) who lives in the neighborhood.



SNL Transcripts