Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 6: Episode 4


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:



Special Guests:

A Film By:

December 13th, 1980

Jamie Lee Curtis

James Brown

Ellen Shipley

None

Martin Brest

The Mean Majority
Summary: Members of the Mean Majority (Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius, Charles Rocket), an organization of decent, moral Americans, speaks out.

Transcript


Montage


Jamie Lee Curtis' Monologue
Summary: Jamie Lee Curtis treats the audience to her trademark horror film scream.

Bio: The daughter of Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis, Jamie Lee Curtis (1958-) was known as "The Scream Queen" for her performances in horror films like "Halloween" and "The Fog."

Transcript


Clovin Hind Jeans I
Summary: Only her brains come between Brooke Shields (Gail Matthius) and her Clovin Hind Jeans.

Transcript


The Attack of the Terrible Snapping Creatures
Summary: In horror spoof, roommates Gail (Gail Matthius) and Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) discover an outbreak of clothespins in their new apartment.


Three-Card Monty
Summary: Jersey guy Paulie Herman (Joe Piscopo) meets a three-card monty street hustler (Eddie Murphy) in New York City.

Recurring Characters: Paulie Herman.

Transcript


"Who is Gilbert Gottfried?"
Summary: Gilbert Gottfried introduces a film by Linda Lee, which shows how he managed to get on "Saturday Night Live."


Dying To Be Heard
Summary: The only way poetesses (Jamie Lee Curtis, Gail Matthius) can get their poems read on TV is by committing suicide.

Transcript


James Brown performs "Rapp Payback"
Bio: An iconic performer of many titles, such as "The Godfather of Soul" and "The Hardest Working Man in Show Business," James Brown (1933-) is responsible for turning R&B into soul, then for turning soul into funk.

Note: "Rapp Payback" is an homage to Brown's earlier singles "Brother Rapp" and "The Payback."

Lyrics


Weekend Update with Charles Rocket
Summary: Woodswoman (Denny Dillon) gives a remote editorial on President-elect Reagan's proposed nuclear dumping policy. Joe Piscopo recaps the week in sports via poetic verse. Consumer reporter Eddie Murphy proposes dog food for human consumption.


Poker & Drugs Don't Mix
Summary: In a satire of a public service announcement, poker players make bad hands while under the influence of drugs.

Transcript


Clovin Hind Jeans II
Summary: If Brooke Shields' (Gail Matthius) jeans could talk, then she could act.

Transcript


Badger Convention
Summary: A group of annoying lodge brothers who call themselves The Badgers hold their annual convention, where they initiate a new member (Matthew Laurence) and badger a frustrated waitress (Jamie Lee Curtis).

Transcript


James Brown performs a medley of his hits


Tortu-Matic
Summary: Charles Rocket promotes the physical torture device that keeps him pumped to perfection.


"Hot Dogs For Gauguin"
Summary: In an abridged version of a 1972 student film written and directed by Martin Brest, a photographer (Danny DeVito) plots to bomb the Statue of Liberty so he can snap an award-winning news photo afterwards.

Bio: A former NYU film student, Martin Brest (1951-) would later produce and direct Eddie Murphy in "Beverly Hills Cop" (1984), Robert De Niro in "Midnight Run" (1988), and Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman" (1992). He also wrote, produced and directed Ben Affleck in "Gigli" (2003).


Roweena's Cut 'n Curl
Summary: While having her hair done by Roweena (Gail Matthius), Nadine (Denny Dillon) receives a visit from her punk-rocker daughter (Jamie Lee Curtis).

Recurring Characters: Nadine, Roweena.


Clovin Hind Jeans III
Summary: Brooke Shields (Gail Matthius) attempts to recite poetry about her Clovin Hinds before falling on her butt.


Camille Black's Cycle Gang
Summary: TV news reporter (Jamie Lee Curtis) interviews biker Camille Black (Ann Risley), who advocates the burying of road kill.


Ellen Shipley performs "Fotogenic"


Goodnights
Transcript



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