Saturday Night Live Transcripts
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Season 6: Episode 4
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 Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
A Film By:
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December 13th, 1980
Jamie Lee Curtis
James Brown
Ellen Shipley
None
Martin Brest
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The Mean Majority
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Summary: Members of the Mean Majority (Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius, Charles Rocket), an organization of decent, moral Americans, speaks out.
Transcript
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Jamie Lee Curtis' Monologue
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Summary: Jamie Lee Curtis treats the audience to her trademark horror film scream.
Bio: The daughter of Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis, Jamie Lee Curtis (1958-) was known as "The Scream Queen" for her performances in horror films like "Halloween" and "The Fog."
Transcript
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Clovin Hind Jeans I
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Summary: Only her brains come between Brooke Shields (Gail Matthius) and her Clovin Hind Jeans.
Transcript
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The Attack of the Terrible Snapping Creatures
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Summary: In horror spoof, roommates Gail (Gail Matthius) and Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) discover an outbreak of clothespins in their new apartment.
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Three-Card Monty
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Summary: Jersey guy Paulie Herman (Joe Piscopo) meets a three-card monty street hustler (Eddie Murphy) in New York City.
Recurring Characters: Paulie Herman.
Transcript
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"Who is Gilbert Gottfried?"
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Summary: Gilbert Gottfried introduces a film by Linda Lee, which shows how he managed to get on "Saturday Night Live."
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Dying To Be Heard
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Summary: The only way poetesses (Jamie Lee Curtis, Gail Matthius) can get their poems read on TV is by committing suicide.
Transcript
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James Brown performs "Rapp Payback"
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Bio: An iconic performer of many titles, such as "The Godfather of Soul" and "The Hardest Working Man in Show Business," James Brown (1933-) is responsible for turning R&B into soul, then for turning soul into funk.
Note: "Rapp Payback" is an homage to Brown's earlier singles "Brother Rapp" and "The Payback."
Lyrics
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Weekend Update with Charles Rocket
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Summary: Woodswoman (Denny Dillon) gives a remote editorial on President-elect Reagan's proposed nuclear dumping policy. Joe Piscopo recaps the week in sports via poetic verse. Consumer reporter Eddie Murphy proposes dog food for human consumption.
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Poker & Drugs Don't Mix
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Summary: In a satire of a public service announcement, poker players make bad hands while under the influence of drugs.
Transcript
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Clovin Hind Jeans II
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Summary: If Brooke Shields' (Gail Matthius) jeans could talk, then she could act.
Transcript
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Badger Convention
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Summary: A group of annoying lodge brothers who call themselves The Badgers hold their annual convention, where they initiate a new member (Matthew Laurence) and badger a frustrated waitress (Jamie Lee Curtis).
Transcript
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James Brown performs a medley of his hits
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Tortu-Matic
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Summary: Charles Rocket promotes the physical torture device that keeps him pumped to perfection.
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"Hot Dogs For Gauguin"
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Summary: In a 1972 student film written and directed by Martin Brest, a photographer (Danny DeVito) plots to bomb the Statue of Liberty so he can snap an award-winning news photo afterwards.
Bio: A former NYU film student, Martin Brest (1951-) would later produce and direct Eddie Murphy in "Beverly Hills Cop" (1984), Robert De Niro in "Midnight Run" (1988), and Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman" (1992). He also wrote, produced and directed Ben Affleck in "Gigli" (2003).
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Roweena's Cut 'n Curl
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Summary: Nadine (Denny Dillon) and her daughter (Jamie Lee Curtis) get their hair cut by Roweena (Gail Matthius).
Recurring Characters: Nadine, Roweena.
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Clovin Hind Jeans III
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Summary: Brooke Shields recites poetry about her Clovin Hinds.
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Camille Black's Cycle Gang
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Summary: While cycling on the road, biker Camille Black (Ann Risley) buries road kill.
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Ellen Shipley performs "Fotogenic"
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SNL Transcripts
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