80d: Jamie Lee Curtis / James Brown, Ellen Shipley
A Message From The Mean Majority
[Open on Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius, and Charles Rocket standing behind a gray curtain with angry faces and arms crossed over their chests]
Denny Dillon: [nastily] Hello. We’re speaking to you on behalf of an organization of decent, moral Americans.
Gail Matthius: We’re the folks who listen to the preachers on television to vote conservative. We did, and we won. So, listen up, losers!
Charles Rocket: [snidely]: So, who are we?
Denny Dillon: We’re The Mean Majority. We’re very, very mean.
Gail Matthius: Who are we mean to? Just about everybody.
Charles Rocket: We believe that the vast majority of Americans in their hearts are just like us - mean! [a scroll at the bottom of the screen crawls from right to left with the following list of the "vast majority of Americans": NEGROES, HOMOSEXUALS, COMMUNISTS, INTELLECTUALS, JEWS, INTELLECTUAL JEWS, NEGRO COMMUNISTS, COMMUNIST HOMOSEXUAL JEWS…]: And these last twenty years of civil rights was just an attempt to be nice.
Gail Matthius: Those days are over!
Denny Dillon: And you know who told us so? [points skyward] He’s like us — mean!
Charles Rocket: He told us to tell you, the television viewers of America, that there are certain TV shows you are not to watch, so you better not! The television shows are...
[SUPER: "Sex In A Condo"]
Denny Dillon: Sex In A Condo.
[SUPER: "Wet T-Shirt Party"]
Charles Rocket: Wet T-Shirt Party.
[SUPER: "Let’s Spit On The Flag"]
Gail Matthius: Let’s Spit On The Flag.
Denny Dillon: And there’s another one. I can’t remember the name, but it’s live.
Charles Rocket: It’s from New York.
Gail Matthius: It’s Saturday Night.
[All three of them smile as we dissolve on opening credits of SNL]
Submitted by: Candy