Saturday Night Live Transcripts
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Season 6: Episode 5
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 Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
Cameos:
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December 20th, 1980
David Carradine
The cast of The Pirates of Penzance
None
Andy Murphy
Neil Levy
Mitchell Kriegman
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Joe's Don Pardo Impression
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Summary: The voice of Don Pardo expresses his disapproval with Joe Piscopo's hopes to replace him as SNL's announcer.
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David Carradine's Monologue
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Summary: Charles Rocket stops David Carradine from singing "I Wanna Be A Dancin' Man.".
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Gun City
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Summary: A manic spokesman (Joe Piscopo) touts the last-minute Christmas deals on goods in his firearms store.
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Kung Fu Fashions
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Summary: The black owner (Eddie Murphy) of a menswear shop gives traveling Caine (David Carradine) fashion advice.
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Valley Girls At The Mall
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Summary: Valley girls Vickie (Gail Matthius) and Debbie (Denny Dillon) try to impress boys (Joe Piscopo, Charles Rocket) at the mall.
Recurring Characters: Vickie, Debbie.
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The Rocket Report
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Summary: Charles Rocket covers the story of a derelict Santa Claus (Charles Rocket) who wanders the streets of New York in despair.
Recurring Characters: Santa Claus.
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Dylan & Guthrie
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Summary: Bob Dylan (Patrick Weathers) visits Woody Guthrie (David Carradine) in the hospital, and the two speak to one another via folksy song lyrics.
Recurring Characters: Bob Dylan.
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The Home Version of Dallas
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Summary: Add a little excitement to your family's strife by emulating the Ewings.
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"Mr. Bill's Christmas Special"
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Summary: In a film by Walter Williams, Mr. Bill recalls painful holiday memories.
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Kung Fu Christmas
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Summary: Caine (David Carradine) and Bruce Lee (Eddie Murphy) co-star in a new Christmas movie.
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Weekend Update with Charles Rocket
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Summary: Ann Risley shares her holiday do's and dont's regarding plastic-wrapped lard. Joe Piscopo comments on NBC's dull NFL broadcasts.
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Linda Ronstadt, Rex Smith, George Rose and the cast of "The Pirates of Penzance" perform a medley of songs from the musical
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Heroin in Harlem
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Summary: Lt. Sam Cleveland (Eddie Murphy) gives rich white drug users (Joe Piscopo, Ann Risley, Charles Rocket) an authentic heroin experience in Harlem.
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The Virgin Search
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Summary: An NBC executive (Mitchell Kriegman) searches the globe for a virgin.
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Dopenhagen & Happy Daze
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Summary: Spokesperson (David Carradine) uses the product to stay smokeless and avoid lighting up.
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Death of Colonel Sanders
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Summary: Kentucky Fried Chicken diners (David Carradine, Denny Dillon, Eddie Murphy) eat fried chicken to mourn the passing of Colonel Sanders.
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"The Dancing Man"
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Summary: In a film by Mitchell Kriegman, an ordinary man (Bill Irwin) can't keep himself from dancing.
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Welfare Counseling
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Summary: welfare counselor (Denny Dillon) advises recipients Ms. Robley (Yvonne hudson) and Caine (David Carradine) to take up prostitution.
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Linda Ronstadt, Rex Smith, George Rose and the cast of "The Pirates of Penzance" perform a medley of Christmas carols
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SNL Transcripts
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