Saturday Night Live Transcripts
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Season 6: Episode 7
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 Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
Cameos:
Bit Players:
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January 17th, 1981
Karen Black
Cheap Trick
Stanley Clarke Trio
None
Michael Nesmith
Rich Schmaltz
Pete Fatovich
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Carters Leave the White House
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Summary: On Inauguration Day, Rosalynn Carter (Ann Risley) instructs Jimmy (Joe Piscopo) and Amy (Denny Dillon) to strip the White House bare before the Reagans move in.
Recurring Characters: Jimmy Carter, Rosalynn Carter, Amy Carter.
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Karen Black's Monologue
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Summary: Karen Black will say absolutely anything to garner cheap audience applause.
Also Hosted: 76d.
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The Legendary Composers
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Summary: Spokesman (Charles Rocket) pitches an album containing the classical origins of today's hottest hits.
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Foundation For The Tragically Hip
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Summary: In a clip from "Elephant Parts", spokesman (Michael Nesmith) for the Foundation For The Tragically Hip solicits financial donations to help spoiled rich kids survive in a material-based mindset.
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The Livelys
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Summary: Game show host Phil Lively (Charles Rocket) and his lovely wife, Francis (Gail Matthius), invite their new neighbors (Gilbert Gottfried, Denny Dillon) over for dinner and a quiz show-style interrogation.
Recurring Characters: Phil Lively, Francis Lively.
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Reagan's Vice President
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Summary: At Frank Sinatra's (Joe Piscopo) request, President Ronald Reagan (Charles Rocket) appoints wife, Nancy (Gail Matthius), as his Vice-President.
Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, Frank Sinatra, Nancy Reagan.
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The Rocket Report
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Summary: Charles Rocket rides along as New York City's daredevil cab driver, Rich Schmaltz, cuts through traffic at a red light.
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Mona Lisa in Love
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Summary: A museum security guard (Charles Rocket) tells the Mona Lisa (Karen Black) he wants to break up.
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Cheap Trick performs "Baby Loves to Rock"
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Weekend Update with Charles Rocket & Gail Matthius
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Summary: Mary Lou James (Ann Risley) provides dieting tips for stupid dieters. The stock footage of "Rush to the Sunbelt!" documents the migration to the midwest. Joe Piscopo contradicts his stance on the scalping of Super Bowl XV tickets by trying to unload his own pair for a profit.
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60 Minutes
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Summary: Dan Rather (Joe Piscopo) offsets an investigation into the mysterious lack of women journalists at CBS.
Recurring Characters: Dan Rather.
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Stroke Victim
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Summary: A stroke victim (Gilbert Gottfried) is unable to communicate with the chatty visitors in his hospital room.
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Fair Dinkum Championship Finals
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Summary: Sports Reporter Joe Piscopo is on the scene at the championship Fair Dinkum Finals between manly Scottish athletes (Charles Rocket, Matthew Laurance).
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Neighbor Confrontation
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Summary: The woman next door (Yvonne Hudson) complains to her neighbor (Eddie Murphy) about the noise coming from his stereo.
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Paulie Herman at the Diner
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Summary: Jersey Guy Paulie Herman (Joe Piscopo) and his newfound lunch companion (Karen Black) channel their inner Jack Nicholson while trying to order a simple piece of wheat toast at a roadside diner.
Recurring Characters: Paulie Herman.
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Cheap Trick performs "Can't Stop It But I'm Gonna Try"
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Saturday Night Live Action Dolls
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Summary: Charles Rocket demonstrates how much fun it is to play with the cast action dolls.
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What's It All About?
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Summary: Karen Black can't keep up with the changing subjects discussed by hosts Pinky (Denny Dillon) and Leo Waxman (Gilbert Gottfried).
Recurring Characters: Pinkie Waxman, Leo Waxman.
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National Handgun Association
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Summary: Proving the adage that "People that kill people, not guns", A mugger (Matthew Laurance) uses a black man (Eddie Murphy) to rob a pair of innocent victims (Joe Piscopo, Ann Risley).
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Stanley Clarke Trio performs "Wild Dog"
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SNL Transcripts
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