80k: Charlene Tilton / Todd Rundgren, Prince
(the dressing room, backstage. Tilton sits on the same bench, reviewing the script for tonight's show. Gilbert Gottfried comes in and notices her sitting there.)
Gottfried: (shyly) Um ... Charlene?
Tilton: Hi, Gilly!
Gottfried: (sits down) You know, tomorrow, we have the day off. And I was wondering if you'd like to have brunch with me. I mean, I know this place in Brooklyn, you can get unlimited Bloody Marys for five bucks.
Tilton: Aww. (puts her hand on his shoulder) Hey Gilly, uh, I'm really sorry, but I'm having brunch with Charlie at the Plaza.
Gottfried: Oh. Well, well, maybe tomorrow night we can see a movie. I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing "Insatiable" again.
Tilton: Well - Gilly, that's very nice of you, but uh, I promised Charlie I'd see a show with him. He's got these great tickets for "Evita."
Gottfried: Oh, you and Charlie ... Ann must be feeling terrible.
Tilton: Ann? What are you talking about?
Gottfried: Oh, oh, you didn't know that Ann and Charlie have been having this torrid love affair ... Ann's carrying Charlie's baby.
Tilton: (her jaw drops. she closes the script and suddenly becomes spiteful) That two-timer! I'll get Charlie Rocket.
(she gets up and leaves)
Gottfried: (now sullenly jealous) Charlie Rocket. How come HE gets to take out all the hosts? Sally Kellerman, Jamie Lee Curtis, Malcolm MacDowell ... (stands up) How come nobody wants to go out with me?
Todd Rundgren: (passing by) Uh, uh, Gilly? I'll go out with you. (tongue in cheek)
(Todd walks out of shot. The camera zooms in on Gottfried's scowling face)
Gottfried: That Charlie Rocket. I'll get him if it's the last thing I do.
Submitted by: The G Man