Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 6: Episode 13


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

April 11th, 1981

None

Jr. Walker & The All-Stars

Chevy Chase

Al Franken

Christopher Reeve

Robin Williams

SNL Storage Room
Summary: Chevy Chase finds Mr. Bill in storage, and the two reminisce about SNL's old days until he accidentally falls and crushes the clay man.

Transcript


Montage
Note: After going on hiatus for a few weeks, SNL returned with a late-season face lift, courtesy of its new producer, Dick Ebersol, who ordered a revamped opening montage that features the theme song from SNL's first five seasons.

Note: Dick Ebersol wanted to hire John Candy and Catherine O'Hara away from "SCTV", but Candy wasn't interested and O'Hara, who had accepted at first, turned the offer down upon witnessing Michael O'Donoghue's rant over the sixth season's poor writing. In Candy and O'Hara's place, "SCTV" co-stars Robin Duke and Tony Rosato crossed over to SNL instead.

Note: An actress named Emily Prager is credited as a featured player, yet she doesn't appear in this episode and isn't brought back for the following season. She was to have appeared in a commentary during "Weekend Update", which was cut from the live broadcast, making her the only credited cast member to never appear on SNL.


Frank Sinatra
Summary: Frank Sinatra (Joe Piscopo) bashes Japan and promotes the purchase of American cars.

Recurring Characters: Frank Sinatra.

Transcript


Lite Beer
Summary: Bill Cosby (Eddie Murphy) promotes Lite Beer to kids in a bar.

Recurring Characters: Bill Cosby.


I Married A Monkey
Summary: Tim (Tim Kazurinsky) accuses his monkey wife, Madge, of having an affair.

Recurring Characters: Tim.

Transcript


Jr. Walker & The All Stars perform "Road Runner" and "Shotgun"


Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
Summary: Film critic Raheem Abdul Muhammed (Eddie Murphy) confuses "Altered States" with "Stir Crazy." Laurie Metcalf asks people on the street if they would take a bullet for the president. Al Franken makes disparaging comments about SNL's disastrous sixth season, and suggests that the show should be put to sleep.

Recurring Characters: Raheem Abdul Mohammed.

Transcript


Same
Summary: Irene Cara (Gail Matthius) sings a parody about her similar-sounding musical selections.

Transcript


The Self-Righteous
Summary: NBC's newest series focuses on a group of holier-than-thou characters.

Transcript


Frank's Wedding Day
Summary: Italian Papa (Tony Rosato) gives his son, Frank (Tim Kazurinsky), advice about love and women on his wedding day.

Recurring Characters: Frank, Papa.


The Famous Broadcasters School Of Cue Card Reading
Summary: Spokesman (Joe Piscopo) advertises a school that help broadcasters to poorly read lines off of cue cards.

Transcript


SNL is Improving
Summary: Chevy Chase insists that SNL is improving tonight, but Christopher Reeve and Robin Williams disagree.

Transcript


Jr. Walker & The All Stars perform "How Sweet It Is" and "What Does It Take"


Wild Country Gun Cards
Summary: The firearms facts on the Wild Country Gun Cards bring a family together.


Bag Lady
Summary: Voiceover's critique the actions of a bad lady (Denny Dillon) in a pre-filmed piece.

Note: Dick Ebersol suckered Neil Levy into taking credit for this film.


Goodnights
Summary: Irene Cara (Gail Matthius) performs a reprise of "Same" as the credits roll.

Transcript



SNL Transcripts