
Saturday Night Live Transcripts

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Season 6: Episode 13

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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:
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April 11th, 1981

None

Jr. Walker & The All-Stars

Chevy Chase

Al Franken

Christopher Reeve

Robin Williams
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SNL Storage Room
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Summary: Chevy Chase finds Mr. Bill in storage, and the two reminisce about SNL's old days until he accidentally falls and crushes the clay man.
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Montage
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Note: After going on hiatus for a few weeks, SNL returned with a late-season face lift, courtesy of its new producer, Dick Ebersol, who ordered a revamped opening montage that features the theme song from SNL's first five seasons.

Note: Dick Ebersol wanted to hire John Candy and Catherine O'Hara away from "SCTV", but Candy wasn't interested and O'Hara, who had accepted at first, turned the offer down upon witnessing Michael O'Donoghue's rant over the sixth season's poor writing. In Candy and O'Hara's place, "SCTV" co-stars Robin Duke and Tony Rosato crossed over to SNL instead.

Note: An actress named Emily Prager is credited as a featured player, yet she doesn't appear in this episode and isn't brought back for the following season. She was to have appeared in a commentary during "Weekend Update", which was cut from the live broadcast, making her the only credited cast member to never appear on SNL.
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Frank Sinatra
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Summary: Frank Sinatra (Joe Piscopo) bashes Japan and promotes the purchase of American cars.

Recurring Characters: Frank Sinatra.

Transcript
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Lite Beer
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Summary: Bill Cosby (Eddie Murphy) sells Lite Beer to kids in a bar.

Recurring Characters: Bill Cosby.
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I Married A Monkey
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Summary: Tim (Tim Kazurinsky) accuses his minkey wife, Madge, of having an affair.

Recurring Characters: Tim.
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Jr. Walker & The All Stars perform "Road Runner"
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Jr. Walker & The All Stars perform "Shotgun"
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Weekend Update with Chevy Chase
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Summary: Film critic Raheem Abdul Muhammed (Eddie Murphy) confuses "Altered States" with "Stir Crazy." Laurie Metcalf asks people on the street if they would take a bullet for the president. Al Franken makes disparaging comments about SNL's disastrous sixth season, and suggests that the show should be put to sleep.
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Same
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Summary: Irene Cara (Gail Matthius) sings a parody about her similar-sounding musical selections.
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The Self-Righteous
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Summary: NBC's newest series focuses on a group of holier-than-thou characters.
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Frank's Wedding Day
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Summary: Italian Papa (Tony Rosato) gives his son, Frank (Tim Kazurinsky), a piece of advice on his wedding day.

Recurring Characters: Frank, Papa.
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The Famous Broadcasters School Of Cue Card Reading
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Summary: Spokesman (Joe Piscopo) advertises a school that help broadcasters read lines off of cue cards.
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SNL is Improving
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Summary: Chevy Chase says that he thinks SNL is improving, but Christopher Reeve and Robin Williams hold a differing opinion.
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Jr. Walker & The All Stars perform "How Sweet It Is"
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Jr. Walker & The All Stars perform "What Does It Take"
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Wild Country Gun Cards
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Summary: The firearms facts on the Wild Country Gun Cards bring a family together.
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Bag Lady
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Summary: Voiceover's critique the actions of a bad lady (Denny Dillon) in a pre-filmed piece.

Note: Dick Ebersol suckered Neil Levy into taking credit for this film.
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Goodnights
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Note: Irene Cara (Gail Matthius) performs a reprise of "Same" as the credits roll.
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SNL Transcripts
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