Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 7: Episode 2

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

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Bit Players:

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October 10th, 1981

Susan Saint James

The Kinks


Andy Warhol

Michael O'Donoghue

Emily Prager

Tom Davis

Andy Murphy

Marilyn Suzanne Miller

Summary: "Yesterday's Technology at Tomorrow's Prices."


Susan Saint James' Monologue
Summary: Susan Saint James invites the audience to decide whether her obligatory TV parody sketch will co-star MaCArthur (Tim Kazurinsky), MacBeth (Tony rosato), or McDonald (Joe Piscopo).

Recurring Characters: Ronald McDonald.


McDonald And Wife
Summary: In a spoof of "McMillan & Wife", the husband-and-wife team of Ronald McDonald (Joe Piscopo) and Sally (Susan Saint James) solve an intricate crime mystery without leaving the comfort of their own bedroom.

Recurring Characters: Ronald McDonald.


Buh-Weet Sings
Summary: Buckwheat (Eddie Murphy) promotes his new album of popular hits with unintelligible lyrics.

Recurring Characters: Buckwheat.


The Bizarro World
Summary: Michael O'Donoghue provides a glimpse of the Bizarro World, which mirrors the Earth's activities. This week: The behavior and decisions of the Bizarro President (Joe Piscopo) are equal to those of Earth President Ronald Reagan.

Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan, Jerry Falwell.


Push Button To Explode Building
Summary: A man (Tom Davis) accidentally demolishes a building when he hits the wrong button at the crosswalk.


Here In a Lifeboat With You

She's A Pig
Summary: Ellen (Mary Gross) is shocked to learn that sensible ex-lover Peter (Tim Kazurinsky) is now engaged to a skanky, hell-raising broad named Paulette Clooney (Robin Duke).

Recurring Characters: Paulette Clooney.


Let's See What's Bothering Bob
Summary: A suburban dad (Brian McConnachie) is bothered by something he can't quite put his finger on.


The Kinks performs "Destroyer"

SNL Newsbreak with Brian Doyle-Murray
Summary: Brian Doyle-Murray narrates over footage of excessive floodwaters that cover the entire island of Senesia. Meteorologist Christine Ebersole gets lost in playful banter with Brian Doyle-Murray and Mary Gross, and fails to give her weather report. Sports reporter Joe Piscopo covers the baseball playoffs by tapping various player bobblehead dolls. Eddie Murphy reads a fan mail letter from President Ronald Reagan, which includes a sampling of racist jokes. Following the assassination of Anwar Sadat, Mary Gross suggests that future assassins make a target of themselves.

Single Bars and Single Women

Honeymoon Virgin
Summary: Billy (Tonoy Rosato) is surprised to find that his new bride, Sharon (Susan Saint James), is a 31-year old virgin, and he's worried that he won't be able to perform incredible enough for her first time.


Cheap Laffs

The Kinks performs "Art Lover"

Andy Warhol's TV
Summary: While having make-up applied to his face, Andy Warhol discusses the topic of men wearing make-up.

Alan Alda Sensitivity Training For Men
Summary: Would-be macho man (Tony Rosato) learns how apply phony sensitivity so he can pick up broads the Alan Alda way.

Summary: In a film by John Fox, a custodian in Cairo cleans up the mess from the Egyptian victory parade as well as remnants from theassassination of Anwar Sadat this past week.


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