Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 7: Episode 4

This free script provided by

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 31st, 1981

Donald Pleasence


Michael Davis

John Belushi

Andy Warhol

Neil Levy

Vomiting For Luck
Summary: Eddie Murphy convinces a nervous Donald Pleasance to vomit before the live show for good luck.



Profiles In British Courage


Jogger Motel
Summary: Irksome joggers jog into the tunnel, where they become trapped like roaches and can't get out.


Two Faces of Jerry
Summary: Take your pick as to which persona of Jerry Lewis is more annoying -- the childlike moron (Eddie Murphy) or the older, embittered Vegas hanger-on (Joe Piscopo).

Recurring Characters: Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis.

I'm So Miserable
Summary: Disgruntled but lonely housewife (Christine Ebersole) cleans up the bloodied mess while singing about how she killed her husband (Neil Levy) the night before.


Pumpkin Carving
Summary: In a film by Elbert Budin, a pumpkin carved into a jack-o-lantern is symbolic of a human head being mutilated for the same purpose.

Guardian Angel
Summary: Guardian Angel (Eddie Murphy) gives tips on how you can survive in Harlem.

Michael Davis
Summary: Comic-juggler Michael Davis juggles apples, including one jammed with razors in honor of Halloween.

SNL Newsbreak with Brian Doyle-Murray
Summary: Field reporter Mary Gross tries to lure confidential information about President Ronald Reagan's decision factor on the AWAC plan from advisor Frank Sinatra (Joe Piscopo). Meteorologist Christine Eversole is in no mood to give the night's weather report after revealing that her apartment was robbed. Film critic Raheem Abdul Mohammed (Eddie Muprhy) loves to watch horror films because he gets to watch stupid white people die. Brian Doyle Murray is surprised to learn that tonight is his birthday.

Recurring Characters: Frank Sinatra, Raheem Abdul Mohammed.


Tales From The Hip

Fear performs "I Don't Care About You"

Annie Intermission

Sugar Breakfast
Summary: To help set their day in fast-paced motion, members of a suburban family (Joe Piscopo, Mary Gross, Tony Rosato, Robin Duke) consume nothing but pure sugar and sugar by-products for breakfast.


Andy Warhol's TV
Summary: Andy Warhol calls famous friends like Calvin Klein and Rona Barrett to see what they're doing for Halloween, then his head falls off and he's ready to go to a costume party.

Home Movie Pitch
Summary: Mary Gross updates viewers on the flood of home movies submitted since the season premiere, acknowledging that they've all sucked so far. She then plays a clip from Walter Smith's cinematic embarrassment "Wonder Wally".

The Vic Salukin Show
Summary: Vic Salukin (Tony Rosato) challenges his viewers to scare him over the phone for Halloween.

Recurring Characters: Vic Salukin.


Fear performs "Beef Bologna", "New York's Alright If You Like Saxophones", "Let's Have A War"

Prose & Cons
Summary: America's hottest new writers are coming straight out of prison. Tyrone Green (Eddie Murphy) is but one example.

Recurring Characters: Tyrone Green.

Note: Repeat from 81a.


SNL Transcripts

| Time Warner Cable | Cable TV Providers | Charter Cable