Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 16










81p: Daniel J. Travanti / John Cougar

Reagan Brand Economics

President Ronald Reagan.....Joe Piscopo
Harry.....Tony Rosato
Wife.....Christine Ebersole

FADE IN:

[ INT. KITCHEN - MORNING ]

[ A WIFE serves three children gumbo from a pot. She turns to her husband HARRY whose sitting at the table. ]

Wife: More rat-tail gumbo, darling?

Harry: Oh come on!! This slop again!?!? When can we have some real food!?

[ Wife sits down. ]

Wife: Harry, you haven't had a job in six months!

Harry: I can't take this anymore! Everything we worked for has been wiped out!!

[ PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN turns around from kitchen counter. ]

President Ronald Reagan: Hey Harry! Why so tense?

[ President Reagan takes a seat. ]

Harry: Oh... Hi President Reagan.

President Ronald Reagan: Relax.

Harry: I don't know. I guess it's this economy. My banker tells me the high interest rates and tight money are killing me.

President Ronald Reagan: Well, why not try Reagan Brand Economics?

Harry: I only try real economic programs.

President Ronald Reagan: Well, Reagan Brand Economics is real economics. 100% supply-side economics, but with no human compassion whatsoever.

[ President Reagan pulls out an information packet from his jacket and hands it to Harry. ]

President Ronald Reagan: Here. Try some.

Harry: Hey! Wow! This trickle-down theory is really something! Cuts out a lot the waste. Doesn't it?

President Ronald Reagan: Sure! Give it time.

[ TITLE CARD: THREE MONTHS LATER ]

[ INT. KITCHEN - MORNING ]

[ Harry's wife is serving President Reagan some gumbo. ]

President Ronald Reagan: Enough rat-tail gumbo for me?

Harry & Wife: I'll say!

Harry: Thanks to Reagan Brand Economics, two of our children are dead and we sold the other one.

[ President Reagan laughs it up. ]

President Ronald Reagan: Reagan Brand Economics from Washington -- where the D.C. stands for "Don't Care"!

[ TITLE CARD: REAGAN BRAND ECONOMICS ]

END


Submitted by: Cody Downs


SNL Transcripts




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