Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 7: Episode 17










81q: Johnny Cash / Elton John

Tegrim Shampoo

Roommate.....Christine Ebersole
Kathy.....Robin Duke
.....Johnny Cash

[FADE IN on a blonde woman walking up to an open door.]

Roommate: [through door] Kathy, it's almost time for the party!

Kathy: [whining] Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...

[Kathy walks out of the room in a blue dress slip.]

Kathy: I don't know WHAT to WEAR! What about my new cocktail dress?

Roommate: [doubtfully] You mean the black one?

Kathy: Uh-huh!

Roommate: Maybe you better not.

Kathy: Why not?

Rooomate: [puts an arm around her shoulders] Kathy, have you ever thought about problem dandruff? Maybe you need Tegrim.

Kathy: ME? I don't have dandruff!

Roommate: Well, here. Let's take the test.

[CUT to the living room, where Johnny Cash is sitting on a sofa, his arms propped up nonchalantly on the back. Kathy and her friend walk up behind him as the audience laughs.]

Roommate: Shake your hair over Johnny Cash.

[Kathy shrugs.]

Roommate: Go ahead.

[Kathy shakes her hair down on Johnny's right shoulder. Audience laughs as he brushes off his shoulder and she stares at his suit in disbelief.]

Kathy: Ohhh! You're right! I DO have problem DANDRUFF!

[Johnny continues brushing off his arm and the rest of his black suit. Kathy and her roommate lean down over his shoulders.]

Roommate: [to camera] Can YOUR hair pass the Tegrim test? Shake YOUR head over Johnny Cash. If it shows up on the man in black:

Kathy and Roommate: Time for Tegrim.

[SUPERIMPOSE those words over bottom of screen. Both women smile sweetly as Johnny finishes dusting off Kathy's dandruff and stares expressionless into the camera. FADE to black over applause.]


Submitted by: Sean


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