Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 8: Episode 2



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82b: Louis Gossett, Jr. / George Thoroughgood & The Destroyers

Under The Boardwalk

.....Joe Piscopo

[FADE IN on a men’s restroom as Joe Piscopo walks in wearing a gray suit and slacks. The first three stalls from the left are all occupied. Joe looks under each door, finally stops at the last stall, steps in, and closes the door. His feet can be seen as he sits on the toilet and pulls down his pants. After a moment, he softly starts humming “Under the Boardwalk” to himself. He pauses a moment, and starts to sing the next verse softly. Another moment later, ZOOM in on his shoes he starts singing for real.]

Joe: [singing]
“Under the boardwalk,
Down by the sea, yeah,
On a blanket with my baby,
That’s where I’ll be.”

[PAN along the stalls and past the other men’s feet as they start singing the chorus with Joe. The audience roars with laughter.]

Others: “Under the boardwalk...”

Joe: “Out of the sun,”

Others: “Under the boardwalk...”

Joe: “We’ll be having some fun...”

Others: “Under the boardwalk...”

Joe: “People walking above,”

Others: “Under the boardwalk...”

Joe: “We’ll be falling in love,”

All: “Under the boardwalk... boardwalk.”

[At that moment, Tim Kazurinsky walks in and checks all the stalls. He sings off key in a tuneless voice.]

Tim: “Don’t push me, ‘cause I’m over the edge, and I’m tryin’ not to lose my head, ha-ha...”

[Tim sees all the stalls are occupied, and he turns to leave.]

Tim: [sort of singing] “It’s like a jungle sometimes, make me wonder why the people goin’ under...”

[Right when Tim leaves, Joe bursts back into song as the other guys harmonize.]

Joe: [ singing]
“Under the boardwalk,
Down by the sea, yeah,
On a blanket with my baby,”

All: “That’s where I’ll beeeee.”

[ZOOM back and FADE OUT as everyone stands up and flushes the toilet.]


Submitted by: Joe Cornfield


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