Peter Pan, the Later Years Peter Pan ... Ed Asner Wendy ... Mary Gross [A darkened bedroom in the middle of the night. Gene and Wendy, a husband and wife, are asleep in bed. A hand reaches in and shakes Wendy's shoulder.] Peter Pan: Wendy! Wendy? Wendy: [awakes with a start] What are you--?! Peter Pan: [covers her mouth] Don't scream. It's me, Peter. [Wendy stares in disbelief at Peter -- he's a fat, balding, middle-aged man in a goofy green Peter Pan costume.] Wendy: You can have all my money. Please, don't hurt me. Peter Pan: Hurt you? Wendy, I know it's been a long time but it's me, Peter. [stands proud, hands on hips] Peter Pan. Wendy: Look at you! You can't be Peter. Peter Pan: Can be and is. Oh, I know I've gone through some heavy changes. But, oh, Wendy, I've missed you so much. Wendy: I'm going to call the police. [Wendy gets out from under the bedcovers and picks up a phone on a nearby night stand. A harp strikes a chord as Peter stands at the open bedroom window and, with a grand gesture, sings to the stars.] Peter Pan: [sings] There is a place where dreams are born ... And Time is never planned. [Wendy, who has turned on the lights during this, finally recognizes him. She hangs up the phone, rises and happily joins him.] Wendy: Oh, my God! Peter! [they hug warmly] Oh! But you got older! I thought you were never going to grow up. Peter Pan: Oh, I know. It's wild, isn't it? When it first started to happen to me, I got REAL upset. I thought, this can't be happening to me. Then, Tinkerbell died. Wendy: Tinkerbell is dead? Peter Pan: Yeah. Five years ago. It was awful. [Peter and Wendy cross to the end of the bed and sit together.] Wendy: Captain Hook got her. Peter Pan: No, no, no! It was natural causes, they said. But I'm not so sure. The last few days, she was REAL depressed. After, I got depressed. And when I get depressed, I start to eat. So, five years later, here I am -- barely able to fly and so fat I show up on radar screens. Wendy: Oh, Peter! [Wendy puts her head on Peter's shoulder. Behind them, Wendy's husband Gene grunts and tosses in his sleep. Peter and Wendy look back at Gene but he keeps on sleeping.] Peter Pan: Your husband? Wendy: [nods] Second marriage. Peter Pan: Oh. I'm sorry. What happened to the first one? Wendy: He got tired of hearing about you. Peter Pan: Awwww .... Wendy: This is Gene. He sells wallpaper. [Peter waves halfheartedly at Gene] We're - comfortable. Peter Pan: Mmm? Yeah. Well, well, uh, what about the boys? Uh, how are - how are John and little Michael? Wendy: Well, John is Japan. Peter Pan: Oh, good, good. Wendy: And he's stationed there with the Navy. Peter Pan: Mm hm, mm hm. Wendy: Michael, uh, he left home when he was about seventeen or so. Peter Pan: Oh? Wendy: We don't know where he is. But he sends us a card every Christmas just to let us know he's okay. Peter Pan: Why'd he leave? Wendy: He was looking for you. Peter Pan: Oh, no! Not another one! That's all I've ever heard! [rises, upset] "He left home looking for you." "This one was jumping off a roof, thinking he could fly." The guilt! I couldn't take it any more so I gave everything up. Wendy: What do you mean? Peter Pan: I mean, when Tiger Lily started to look different to me, I knew it was time to grow up. [sits next to Wendy, sadly] Wendy: Peter? What do you want from me? Peter Pan: Well, I'm not sure. Wendy, I always told you I was coming back, some day, but I was also shy and then I started to lose my hair. And I gained a few. And I didn't wanna see, you know, have you see me looking like this. Wendy: Oh, Peter! How could you ever think that way? You were my hero. Peter Pan: Well-- Wendy: I loved you. Peter Pan: Ha ha. I know that NOW. But, back then, I only know I started to feel something but I wasn't sure what it was. And when you're a little boy, you're never sure of anything. It took me YEARS of analysis to realize that I love you, too, Wendy. And, uh, so today, after work, I had a few belts and I decided, "This is it! Fly right over there and tell her everything." Wendy: [apprehensively] What are you saying, Peter? Peter Pan: I want you, Wendy! [grabs her and kisses her] Wendy: Oh! Peter! [tries to pull away from him] Peter Pan: What? Wendy: Oh, I wish you'd been here years ago. All I ever thought about is you. It broke up my first marriage. Peter Pan: Please! The guilt, the guilt! Wendy: Oh, I'm sorry. But, now, I can't, Peter. Peter Pan: Huh? Wendy: I really did love you but -- things have changed. I'm too old to fly now and -- I really don't want to leave. Peter Pan: [reluctantly] Sure. Okay. If that's the way you feel. [Wendy nods, a pause] But can't we at least get it on once? Wendy: Please, Peter, I think it's better that you go. Peter Pan: Okay, okay. I understand. And I'm sorry. [rises] I figured you'd feel that way but, listen, before I go -- [retreats to her night stand and picks up a bundle] -- I want to give you something. [Wendy rises as Peter gives her the bundle - it looks like a dark blanket tied up with string.] Wendy: What is this? Peter Pan: It's my shadow! It's a lot bigger than the first one but I want you to have it, okay? Wendy: Oh, Peter. [gives Peter a hug] Peter Pan: Oh. Wendy: Are you sure you're gonna be okay? Peter Pan: [broadly hinting that he wants to stay with her] Oh, I-- I am tired and-- It's a long flight back. Wendy: [raises a hand to stop him, firmly] Peter! Peter Pan: [relents] Okay, okay. Wendy: Here, I've got something. [sets down Peter's shadow, retreats to a nearby dresser and pulls a box out of a drawer] It's the magic fairy dust you gave me... [Music in background as Wendy lifts a pinch of the sparkly dust from the box and lets it spill from her fingers.] Peter Pan: Ohhh! Wendy: [sprinkles fairy dust on Peter's shoulders] ... in case I ever wanted to come up for a long weekend. Peter Pan: Oh, yeah. Yes, well, once - once I get past the first star and turn to the left, I start to get a little drowsy, you know. [retreats reluctantly and a little sadly to the open bedroom window] Take care, Wendy. Think lovely thoughts. Lovely thoughts. [Awkwardly but bravely, Peter crows like a cock and exits out the window. Wendy rushes to the window to watch Peter fly away. She waves to him with a smile.] Wendy: Goodbye, Peter! Peter Pan: [from off] Ow! [A grand burst of "Peter Pan" music. Wendy laughs and watches Peter go. Much applause as we pull back to reveal a lovely city skyline next to the bedroom set as well as the crew, the lights and the cameras.] Submitted Anonymously SNL Transcripts