84j: Kathleen Turner / John Waite
Strictly From Blackwell
Mr. Blackwell ... Harry Shearer
Bobby Bouchet ... Martin Short
[Card reads: STRICTLY FROM BLACKWELL. We hear the
hushed, mellow, oddly cadenced voice of fashion expert
Mr. Blackwell before we dissolve to him. He is a
wrinkled, gray-haired, purple plaid-jacketed,
microphone-wielding talk show host who addresses the
Mr. Blackwell: From the newest of the new
addresses on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, a selection
of four designer boutiques inside one fabulous
storefront, Le Boutiqueteria, direct from the second
floor, this is Strictly From Blackwell. I am
[Pull wide to reveal Blackwell's guest seated next to
him -- a jittery, nervous, mustachioed, blow-dried,
turtleneck-wearing theatrical type guy named Bobby
Bouchet. The two men sit beneath a sign reading "Le
Boutiqueteria" on a stylish talk show set.]
Mr. Blackwell: And joining us today is a young
man involved in the musical theater -- we will talk,
we will have good conversation -- currently in "Irma
La Douce." What a delight that this show has been
brought back at the James Franciscus Dinner Theater
... in nearby La Mirada, California. Mr. Bobby
Bouchet. Bobby, welcome.
Bobby Bouchet: [equally hushed mellow voice]
Mr. Blackwell: You know ... you're doing dinner
theater in La Mirada which I feel-- I would not do
dinner theater in a Hollywood, in a Beverly Hills, in
a Sherman Oaks, in a Studio City. In a Westwood -
[chortles] - no way - would I do dinner
theater in a Westwood. I would in a La Mirada.
Bobby Bouchet: Well, La Mirada ... has a lot of
older folks and they are really wanting to see a show
but they also want to eat.
Mr. Blackwell: Yeah.
Bobby Bouchet: And, uh, so, there's an
interesting package. They get the show -
Mr. Blackwell: Yeah.
Bobby Bouchet: - and they get the - the - the
Mr. Blackwell: Yeah.
Bobby Bouchet: And they get, uh, uh, all
gratuities. And they get four different kinds of salad
Mr. Blackwell: There is a choice of
Bobby Bouchet: There is four dressings. With -
with one salad included, of course.
Mr. Blackwell: Yes.
Bobby Bouchet: And it's all for twenty-seven
Mr. Blackwell: Yeah.
Bobby Bouchet: Plus -- they don't have to see
the whole show.
Mr. Blackwell: They do not have to see
the whole show?
Bobby Bouchet: No. Because it's not the whole
show. It's - it's an abridged version. It's like that
dinner theater type of - of theater.
Mr. Blackwell: You could not see the whole show
if you wanted?
Bobby Bouchet: No.
Mr. Blackwell: This is like what they do in Las
Vegas where they - they give you just the crême de la
cream of the show ... And you're - you're
seeing the best numbers and the best
moments and the best songs and the best
costumes and the best sets -- and still you're
out in an hour.
Bobby Bouchet: [proudly] And ... Robert Clary
of "Hogan's Heroes" staged it for us.
Mr. Blackwell: [genuinely delighted] Did he?
... Did he?
Bobby Bouchet: That's not too bad.
Mr. Blackwell: He does wonderful work.
How many ... How many in the company?
Bobby Bouchet: Well, uh, the original Broadway
production, which I stayed clear of, because I - I
didn't really want to be affected by it-- You want to
bring your own th - thing to it--
Mr. Blackwell: This is good. This is
Bobby Bouchet: But - but - but - the original
Broadway production has, uh, had forty, fifty people
in it. Ours is more scaled down.
Mr. Blackwell: Sure.
Bobby Bouchet: We have - we have seven people
in it. ...
Mr. Blackwell: This is interesting, I think, to
the audience on the cable. What is - a "douce"?
I have heard that it is French slang for a
tart, for a prostitute. Is this true? Is
this what the show is about, Bobby?
Bobby Bouchet: Exactly. But, you see, people
are eating, so we - we kind of stay clear of that and
- and we have more fun with her being a
Mr. Blackwell: [laughs lustily] I love that!
"Fun with her being a prostitute"! [laughs, suddenly
mellow again] That is good fun. Okay, when ... When
you say they're eating -- and now--?
Bobby Bouchet: I brought you a menu, to explain
better. [excitedly pulls out a huge menu labeled "BILL
OF FARE" and hands it to Blackwell]
Mr. Blackwell: Fabulous. This is wonderful - to
share with our viewers. Okay, look, let - let us
maybe-- Can we get a - a close-up on the other camera
- [holds menu up to wrong camera] - and just show what
we are doing here? Does this work? Okay, now ... All
right, this way? Okay. [angle changes - turns menu to
wrong camera again, reads from menu] This is the ...
the, uh, Backstage Cut, which is the regular roast
beef, which is thirteen ninety-five. I must tell you.
I defy anyone -- [drops menu, Bobby retrieves it for
him and puts it in his lap] oh, to find a regular
prime rib of this quality - and I've not
had the meat there - but, er, just looking at the
menu, you can see the quality of the food in the
presentation of the show. ... which I do want to see.
But I don't think anywhere in a La Mirada you can get
a prime rib for that. I don't know.
Bobby Bouchet: Oh, no, no, no. You're not -
You're not gonna get a better prime rib than that
anywhere. In fact - fact, people who've seen the show
have just come back to eat.
Mr. Blackwell: That is wonderful. ... There is
a Twin Bill, which is the double lamb chops, which I
love. There is the, uh, Leading Man/Leading
Lady, which is the steak and lobster. [sets the large
menu down] I love the size of the menus, like the big
bulky sweaters. Okay, your big songs, Bobby, are
Bobby Bouchet: "From a Prison Cell."
Mr. Blackwell: That's the name of the
Bobby Bouchet: That's the name of the
Mr. Blackwell: Okay, and you do that
Bobby Bouchet: In a prison cell. By the salad
Mr. Blackwell: Okay, good. Now ... I was
reading a little bit about your background. You have
interesting parents. Should we say "interesting
parents"? Is this fair to say?
Bobby Bouchet: [nods, grins] Oh, you mean my
biological parents? You're talking about my biological
parents now? Yes, well, this is something I like to
talk about but, a lot of times, I get a lot of flak
for it but, uh, anyway, uh - uh - uh - My biological
parents were - John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe.
Mr. Blackwell: Interesting. The ones we've
Bobby Bouchet: The president and the movie
Mr. Blackwell: Okay, but w-w-w-when you say
they were your parents -- did you know
Bobby Bouchet: Well, I mean, you
couldn't know them -- they were so much in the
Mr. Blackwell: Isn't that sad?
Bobby Bouchet: Yeah.
Mr. Blackwell: Isn't that true? Uh, so who did
you grow up knowing as the "Mom," as the
Bobby Bouchet: My legal parents. And I love
them and - and everything but - but they - they did
not know that I was related to John F. Kennedy and
Mr. Blackwell: They adopted you?
Bobby Bouchet: Well, they won't admit it. They
won't claim it. So, uh, I - They-- According to them,
I am their biological son and - and - and I love them,
as I said, and respect them, and because I reside
under their roof--
Mr. Blackwell: Well, you - you pay them the
respect that they deserve.
Bobby Bouchet: And pretend to be biologically
related to them. ...
Mr. Blackwell: Okay, you know, I've known you
for a very short period of time, Bobby, but there is
an integrity to you and an authority and
a belief in yourself which I say more people
these days should have. What I hear is a simply
wonderful production of "Irma La Douce"-- The three
piece ensemble provides music. That is what? Piano?
Bobby Bouchet: Organ and harp.
Mr. Blackwell: Piano, organ and harp. ... To
get a very full feeling to the show. Bobby Bouchet. It
was a pleasure to meet you. It really was.
Bobby Bouchet: This wasn't so bad.
Mr. Blackwell: No, this wasn't at all. Bobby
Bouchet - on stage - in front of - the food - ... in
"Irma La Douce" down in La Mirada. I wanted to ask him
if he ever ad libs in a musical. I've always wanted to
ask an actor this -
Bobby Bouchet: [shakes his head, amused]
Mr. Blackwell: - but we don't have time, we
must vanish. Next -- for the first time, the
Worst-Dressed Men List. This should be fun! Till then,
strictly from Blackwell. Bye-bye.
[Blackwell converses with his guest as we pull back
and a kind of "Holiday for Strings"-type theme music
plays. Applause. Dissolve back to opening title card.