Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 11: Episode 2




85b: Chevy Chase / Sheila E.

Smoky Hallways

Fire Chief.....Chevy Chase
Fireman #1.....Damon Wayans
Fireman #2.....Don Novello
Fireman #3.....Terry Sweeney
Fireman #4.....Anthony Michael Hall
Fireman #5.....Jon Lovitz
Fireman #6.....Robert Downey Jr.
Fireman #7.....Randy Quaid
Fireman.....Dan Vitale

FADE IN:

[ STOCK FOOTAGE OF FIRE FIGHTERS RUSHING TO THEIR ENGINES AND THE BLAZING INFERNO ON SCENE. ]

[ INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT ]

[ A FIRE CHIEF and his crew arrive. The area is covered in smoke. ]

Fire Chief: Okay men -- we gotta check every compartment in here! Check every door! We gotta make sure nobody's in here! Okay!?

[ The fire fighters scramble to check the hallway. The fire chief points to all sorts of doorways while his team goes into every one. ]

Fire Chief: You -- check that door!

[ The fire chief points to another door. ]

Fire Chief: You -- check that one! Go ahead! You check that door, too!

[ The fire chief points to another door to two of his men. ]

Fire Chief: You two -- check those doors! Every door here -- check it!!

[ The fire chief points to another door. ]

Fire Chief: You check that door! Come on, check it! Let's go, let's go!!

Fireman #1: What about this door?

Fire Chief: Check it!

Fireman #2: What about this door?

Fire Chief: Check it! You better check it! I wanna make sure you check it!

[ The fire chief points out a previous door. ]

Fire Chief: Did you check that door!? Well, check it again!

Fireman #3: What are we going to do!?

Fire Chief: Check it again and make sure you check it!

[ The fire chief points two different firemen and a door behind them. ]

Fire Chief: You both check that door? You two -- make sure you check it! Check it!!

[ A different fireman goes in the door the fire chief gave orders for the previous two to enter. ]

Fire Chief: Get outta of there!! Check down there! Come on, let go! Check them all!!

Fireman: I'll check it!

[ The fire chief and his crew leave the hallway. ]

Fire Chief: All right -- let's check 'em!

[ INT. ANOTHER HALLWAY - NIGHT ]

[ Smoke fills the passageway and the crew keeps bumping into each other. They all scramble to check the doors. The fire chief's the last show up. ]

Fire Chief: Check that door! Check it! It's weird! Check it again!

[ The fire chief points out a door to a fireman. ]

Fire Chief: Come on, check it! What do you think you get a check for!?!? I'm not checking!

[ A fireman approaches the fire chief. ]

Fire Chief: Did you check that door!? Check it again!

[ FIREMAN #4 rushes to the fire chief. ]

Fireman #4: Chief! You want me to check that door!?

Fire Chief: Double-check it! I don't care! Okay!?

[ The fire chief points to a door on his left to another fireman. ]

Fire Chief: Check that door!

[ The fire chief calls for Fireman #4 and points to the door he asked for to be checked. Fireman #4 races to the fire chief. ]

Fire Chief: Come here! Come here! Come here! You check that!?

Fireman #4: This one!?

Fire Chief: Make sure its checked!

[ The fire chief starts to get light-headed and losing his footing. ]

Fireman #5: Chief!

Fire Chief: What!? What do you want!? Your check!?!? It's too early! Check in the morning!

[ The fire chief's getting more unbalanced. ]

Fire Chief: Check! I want you to check! Check!

[ The fire chief faints. The crew circles around him. ]

Fireman #5: Check his pulse!

Fireman #6: The "checks" were too much for him!

Fireman #7: There's one thing we're not sure about -- we think we checked but then we're not! Probably though... What should we do?

[ The fire chief starts to regain consciousness and sits up. ]

Fireman #7: Wait -- I think he's trying to say something!

Fire Chief: "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"


Submitted by: Cody Downs


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