Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 11: Episode 3

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


November 23rd, 1985

Pee Wee Herman

Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band



Pee Wee's Tightrope Walk
Summary: Pee Wee Herman's tightrope walk between the Twin Towers results in his falling through the air.



Pee Wee Herman's Monologue
Summary: Pee Wee Herman wear various funny shoes, assigns secret names to the audience, and dances to "Tequila."

Army: Say No
Summary: While a teenager (Anthony Michael Hall) succums to peer pressure from his friends to smoke and drink, he draws the line when they all decide to join the Army.


Locker Room
Summary: Feeling a void in his marriage, (Randy Quaid) considers going to a hooker. But his buddy, Pee Wee Herman, isn't sure what he's talking about.

Pee Wee Herman's Thanksgiving Special
Summary: Pee Wee Herman hosts an all-star Thanksgiving special.

Recurring Characters: Brooke Shields, Diana Ross, Daryl Hall, John Oates.

Note: Phil Hartman, who played Cap'n Carl in Pee Wee Herman's various specials, not only co-wrote this sketch but also appears as an extra in the background. He would join "SNL" for a lengthy run the following season.

Note: Former Ebersol-era cast member Robin Duke is visible in the audience during the Diana Ross performance.

The Pat Stevens Show
Summary: Pat Stevens (Nora Dunn) blithely interviews a depression expert (Randy Quaid).

Recurring Characters: Pat Stevens.

Die Foreigner Die!
Summary: A promo for a new action movie starring Sylverster Stallone, Chuck Norris and a lot of dead foreignors!

The Pathological Liar
Summary: Pathological liar Tommy Flanagan (Jon Lovitz) shares a jail cell with Pee Wee Herman, and the two swap tall tales.

Recurring Characters: Tommy Flanagan.


Weekend Update with Dennis Miller
Summary: After a falling out with the Vatican, ex-reporter Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) has started his own church and declares himself Pope Maurice.

Recurring Characters: Father Guido Sarducci.

Dinosaur Town
Summary: Alarmed that the owners of Dinosaur Town have gone bankrupt, Pee Wee Herman starts a campaign to find a mouse in a Coke bottle so they can use the settlement money to re-open the theme park.

Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band performs "La Louisiane"

Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band performs "Frisco Zydeco"

Miss Patterson
Summary: Student Pee Wee Herman declares his love for teacher Miss Patterson (Joan Cusack), and, after much convincing, she finally reciprocates his emotions.

A Message From Cabrini Green
Recurring Characters: Cabrini Green.

Hal Fisher's Money Magnet Method
Summary: Hal Fisher (Randy Quaid) explains how to make money in real estate by taking advantage of motivated sellers.


SNL Transcripts