Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 11: Episode 3


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


November 23rd, 1985

Pee Wee Herman

Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band

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Pee Wee's Tightrope Walk
Summary: Pee Wee Herman's tightrope walk between the Twin Towers results in his falling through the air.

Transcript


Montage


Pee Wee Herman's Monologue
Summary: Pee Wee Herman wear various funny shoes, assigns secret names to the audience, and dances to "Tequila."


Army: Say No
Summary: While a teenager (Anthony Michael Hall) succums to peer pressure from his friends to smoke and drink, he draws the line when they all decide to join the Army.

Transcript


Locker Room
Summary: Feeling a void in his marriage, (Randy Quaid) considers going to a hooker. But his buddy, Pee Wee Herman, isn't sure what he's talking about.


Pee Wee Herman's Thanksgiving Special
Summary: Pee Wee Herman hosts an all-star Thanksgiving special.

Recurring Characters: Brooke Shields, Diana Ross, Daryl Hall, John Oates.

Note: Phil Hartman, who played Cap'n Carl in Pee Wee Herman's various specials, not only co-wrote this sketch but also appears as an extra in the background. He would join "SNL" for a lengthy run the following season.

Note: Former Ebersol-era cast member Robin Duke is visible in the audience during the Diana Ross performance.


The Pat Stevens Show
Summary: Pat Stevens (Nora Dunn) blithely interviews a depression expert (Randy Quaid).

Recurring Characters: Pat Stevens.


Die Foreigner Die!
Summary: A promo for a new action movie starring Sylverster Stallone, Chuck Norris and a lot of dead foreignors!


The Pathological Liar
Summary: Pathological liar Tommy Flanagan (Jon Lovitz) shares a jail cell with Pee Wee Herman, and the two swap tall tales.

Recurring Characters: Tommy Flanagan.

Transcript


Weekend Update with Dennis Miller
Summary: After a falling out with the Vatican, ex-reporter Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) has started his own church and declares himself Pope Maurice.

Recurring Characters: Father Guido Sarducci.


Dinosaur Town
Summary: Alarmed that the owners of Dinosaur Town have gone bankrupt, Pee Wee Herman starts a campaign to find a mouse in a Coke bottle so they can use the settlement money to re-open the theme park.


Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band performs "La Louisiane"


Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band performs "Frisco Zydeco"


Miss Patterson
Summary: Student Pee Wee Herman declares his love for teacher Miss Patterson (Joan Cusack), and, after much convincing, she finally reciprocates his emotions.


A Message From Cabrini Green
Recurring Characters: Cabrini Green.


Hal Fisher's Money Magnet Method
Summary: Hal Fisher (Randy Quaid) explains how to make money in real estate by taking advantage of motivated sellers.


Goodnights
Transcript



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