Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 11: Episode 3




85c: Pee Wee Herman / Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band

Say No To The Army

Teenager.....Anthony Michael Hall
Friends.....Robert Downey, Jr., Bruce McCulloch

[ open on a group of teenagers driving down the street, most of them drinking, as the last Teenager gives in to the peer pressure ]

Announcer: Sometimes, it's hard to say no.

[ the Teenager is offered a cigarette, he once again gives in to peer pressure ]

Your friends can pressure you.

[ group of girls walk up to the guys ]

You want to be cool.

You want to be one of the guys.

[ Teeanger's friends lead him into a building ]

[ Army Recruiter looks at the group of teenagers and smiles, then looks to the other Teeanger ]

But.. when the time comes.. it's really up to you.

Teeanger: [ panicks and runs ] NOOOO!! NOOOO!! NOOOO!! NOOOO!!

Announcer: Say no. The Army. It's like playing with a loaded gun.


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