Shakespeare in the Slums Flotilda Williams ... Danitra Vance [Fire escape outside a brick Harlem tenement building. A poor, young African-American girl (wearing a colorful combination of dreadlocks, a pink top, rainbow belt, blue jeans, yellow socks and sneakers) stands on the fire escape and takes wash off of a clothesline. She turns to address the camera.] Flotilda Williams: Um, hi, I'm Flotilda Williams. Um, Flotilda Williams, the classical actress with the federally-funded classical repertory company call "Shakespeare in the Slums." ... Um, right now, we're doin' a production of Mister William Shakespeare's entitled "Romeo and Juliet" - and it is the play that inspired the TV game show "Family Feud." ... I play Juliet and she live here in a high rise. But she live in the low part of the high rise, okay? ... And, um, she in her room tryin' to be asleep but she can't sleep because she's thinkin' about this guy - this really cute guy - he make her laugh with his funny, funny jokes, prob'ly got some money, so she LIKE him! ... Um, his name Romeo -- that's the title, "Romeo and Juliet." So, I'm up here on my back porch and he down here in the alleyway, lookin' up in my window. Now - he not lookin' up in my window because he a freak -- he lookin' up in my window because he LIKE me a LOT. ... And then - then he begin to talk to hisself. Now he not talkin' to hisself because he crazy. He talk to hisself because it's a play, okay? ... People in plays talk to theyselves a LOT. ... All right. So -- he down there in the alleyway, lookin' up in my window, talkin' to hisself. He say, finally: [Throughout the rest of the sketch, she enacts Shakespeare's dialogue extravagantly, assuming the characters completely, and then abruptly reverts to her "ghetto" self to address the camera with blunt explanations of the text.] "But soft! what light throo yonder windo' break?" And that's when I break through the window. ... And when I break through, I'm like this: [with gestures and lips moving, she mimes an animated conversation but makes no sound] ... Because he say I speak -- yet I say nothing. [mimes some more soundless dialogue] ... And then, finally, I say my first words, I say, "Ay me! O, Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?" Wherefore mean why. She sayin', "Why you gots to be Romeo?" "Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love [hands to her heart] And I'll no longer be a Capsulet." ... And she thinkin', she thinkin', "Tis but thy name that is my enemy Thou art thyself though, not a Montagoo." What's a Montagoo? ... It is nor hand, nor arm, Nor foot, nor face, nor any other part [hands on hips] Belonging to a man." [suggestive] You know what she's talkin' about. ... Then she say, you know, a lot o' things. You know, all these things, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. She talk to herself and she start talkin' to him down here in the alleyway because she finally see him down there. She say lovey-dovey things like: "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite. [hears noise, looks around] I hear some noise within, dear love, adieu." That mean bye. ... And, uh, "Stay but a little, I will come again." That mean she be right back. [mimes an exit, then returns] ... And then she come right back. ... "Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed. If that thy bent of love be honorable, Thy purpose marriage, send word, By one I'll procure to come to thee, Where and at what time thou wilt perform the rite." That mean marry me, marry me, marry me - I'm not giving up nothin' till you marry me. ... [fixes her hair, breathlessly] "Then all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay And follow thee, my lord, throughout the world. [hears noise, calls off] By and by, I come--! [back to Romeo] But if thou mean'st not well I do beseech thee To cease thy suit and leave me to my grief." That mean if you not gonna marry me, don't mess with my mind. I can find somebody else! ... "A thousand times good night." Then she gone again. Um, this time she gone a little bit longer 'cause she had to talk to her Mama and the Nurse. Um, I don't know why she had to talk to the Nurse because she not really sick. ... [mimes an exit, then returns] And then she come right back. But she don't see him nowhere. And she want to say, [cups hands to her mouth, calls out] "Hey, Romeo! Where you at?!" ... But she can't do that because Juliet is a very dignified girl, and hollerin' off the back porch is very iginant. ... So she just say, she just say, she just say, she say: "Hist ... " [nervously looks around, then through clenched teeth, quietly] "Romeo." [nervously puts a hand to her lips, pauses, takes a deep breath, cups hands to mouth, lowers voice, calls goofily with round eyes and mouth:] "Rooooooomeeeooooooo ..." [breaks into a smile at the sight of Romeo] And then she see him. Um... "I have forgot why I did call thee back. 'Tis almost morning. I would thee were gone And yet no further than a wanton's bird That lets it hop a little from her hand Like a poor prisoner in her twisted gyves And with a silk thread plucks it back again So loving-jealous of his liberty." ... I don't know what that part mean. ... And - and then she say, she say, uh, "Good night." [starts to exit but comes back, sees Romeo's still there -- more insistently] "Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow That I shall say good night till it be morrow." [she blows Romeo a kiss and gives him a little wave - then, pleasantly, into the camera] Good night. [And with that, Flotilda Williams, classical actress, turns and goes back to taking down her laundry. Applause. Fade.] Submitted Anonymously SNL Transcripts