February 14th, 1987
Paul Young, "War Games"
Liberace In Heaven
Piano playing is all the censors will allow.
Bronson Pinchot's Monologue
Pinchot reflects on old girlfriend he's avoided while in New York.
Canadian takeover of United States irks one American (Phil Hartman).
"Amerida" plausibility is discussed further.
: Ted Koppel.
Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue
Paulina Poriskova makes plea on behalf of pre-teen boys.
Derek Stevens Sells Out
"Choppin' Broccoli" is re-recorded as Birds Eye jingle.
: Derek Stevens.
Babette (Nora Dunn) fumes over suitor's (Phil Hartman) choice of gifts.
Paul Young perform "War Games"
Weekend Update with Dennis Miller
Jacques Cousteau discusses mating ritual of napkin fish.
A. Whitney Brown's Big Picture focuses on Senate pay hike alternatives.
Dennis Miller wears a full-sized Body Condom.
The Life of Golda Meir
Meir's (Paulina Poriskova) good looks hinder Israeli war efforts.
Police Sketch Artist
Sketch artist (Kevin Nealon) alters own face to resemble crime suspect.
Hardware Store Gigolo
Armando (Pinchot) tries to make it with Marge Keister (Jan Hooks) in hardware store.
: Marge Keister.
Paul Young perform "The Long Run"
Miss Connie's Fable Nook
Lebee (Kevin Nealon) brings smile to Princess' (Paulina Poriskova) face.
: Miss Connie, Koko, Mishu, Lebee.
Buster Poindexter performs "Heart of Gold"