David Crosby.....Jon Lovitz
[ open on Father and Daughter dancing to "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys ]
Daughter: Wow, Dad, that's the Sunkist Song!
Father: No, Jennifer, it's the Beach Boys. I grew up listening to this music!
Daughter: Wow, Dad! You're cooler than I thought!
Father: You mean now, there's music we both can enjoy?
[ cut to David Crosby in a recording studio ]
David Crosby: There sure is, man! Hi, I'm David Crosby. Hey, did you know that many of today's best-loved commercial jingles are actually based on classics from the sixties? Cause they are, man. Now all this great music is available on one collection... [ holds up record SOLD OUT GOLD ] Sold Out Gold! You'll get great hits like Orange Vibrations.
[ SUPER: "SUNKIST VIBRATIONS - The Beach Boys", to the tune of "GoodVibrations" ]
"I'm picking up orange vibrations,
Sunkist Orange Soda taste sensations..
David Crosby: Or the Nike Song!
[ SUPER: "THE NIKE SONG - The Beatles", to the tune of "Revolution" ]
"There's got to be a revolution
Well, you know...
David Crosby: And if you order now, man, we'll sell you this additional album.. [ holds up record SOLD OUT BRONZE ] ..Sold Out Bronze! 20 never-before-aired commercials, including this one from Time Magazine.
[ SUPER: "IN-A-TIME-MAGAZINE - Iron Butterfly", to the tune of"In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida" ]
"In a Time magazine, now baby
It's got all the news, if you care.
David Crosby: Or this Doors tune for General Electric!
[ SUPER: "GENERAL ELECTRIC - The Doors", to the tune of "People Are Strange" ]
Chicken is tasty
When broiled in my range
Pastries come out all the same,
David Crosby: And White Shirt!
[ SUPER: "WHITE SHIRT - Jefferson Airplane", to the tune of "White Rabbit" ]
"One shirt makes you formal,
And one shirt has short sleeves,
For your shirt needs.
[ Shown: a picture of the Rolling Stones and a box of Eggo Waffles ]
"Hey you, leggo my eggo!
Hey you, leggo my eggo!
Hey you, leggo my eggo!
David Crosby: Plus, these other Sold-Out Bronze classics!
[ Titles scroll:
"TALKING ABOUT (MY KEN-L-RATION) - The Who"
"(HEY YOU) LEGGO MY EGGO - The Rolling Stones"
"THE WIND CRIES SHASTA - Jimi Hendrix"
"INCENSE AND FEENA-MINTS - Strawberry Alarm Clock"
"JEEP CHEROKEE PEOPLE - Paul Revere and the Raiders"
"WHERE HAVE ALL THE PRINGLES GONE? - Peter, Paul, & Mary" ]
David Crosby: [ holding both albums] I've listened to these albums over 300 times, man! Now you can too by ordering today. Here's how, man:
(bugs his eyes)
Send $19.69 to:
P.O. Box 1965
Silver Springs, IN, 01965
Or call 1-800-SIX-TIES, yeah.
[ cut back to father and daughter dancing to the tune of "We Gotta GetOut of This Place" ]
"We gotta get out of this place
And take a trip to the Poconos.
We gotta get out of this place..
[ fade to black ]
Thanks to Tony DuMontfor this transcript.