Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 13: Episode 8


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:


December 19th, 1987

Paul Simon

Linda Ronstadt

None

Sen. Paul Simon

Tom Davis

Marc Shaiman

Jesus' Surprise Party


Montage


Paul Simon's Monologue
Summary: Confusion arises over whether Paul Simon the singer is hosting tonight's show, or Paul Simon the senator.

First Hosted: 75b.

Bio: Sen. Paul Simon (1928-2003). Politician; served in U.S. House of Representatives, 1975-85; Illinois State Senator, 1985-97.

Transcript


Gary Hart Ad
Summary: Gary Hart's effect on women makes him too hard for them to get him out of their mind.

Note: Repeat from: 87a.


Desert Island Christmas
Summary: Being stranded on a desert island hasn't stopped a woman (Victoria Jackson) from bestowing lavish gifts upon her boyfriend (Paul Simon) at Christmastime.

Transcript


Master Thespian As Santa Claus
Recurring Characters: Master Thespian.


Linda Ronstadt & The Mariachi Vargas performs "Los Laureles" & "La Cigarra"
First Performed: 78s.

Bio: Mariachi Vargas. In its original form, the group was founded by Gaspar Vargas in Tecalitlán, Jalisco, Mexico in 1898.


Weekend Update with Dennis Miller
Recurring Characters: Dennis Miller.


Sweeney Sisters
Recurring Characters: Candy Sweeney, Liz Sweeney.


Subway Solicitor


Succinctly Speaking
Recurring Characters: Tonto, Tarzan, Frankenstein.

Transcript


Tonto, Tarzan, Frankenstein sing "Away in a Manger"


Paul Simon & Linda Ronstadt perform "Under African Skies"


Truck Stop Reflections


A Message From Jon Lovitz


Goodnights



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