Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 14: Episode 11





88k: Tony Danza / John Hiatt

A Message From Ted Bundy

Ted Bundy....Dana Carvey

[ open on Ted Bundy, hair standing on end, smoke rising from his tattered clothes ]

Ted Bundy: Hello, I'm Ted Bundy. Thank you. You know, all too often, we Americans take electricity for granted. We assume that when we flip that switch, the power will just be there. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. And I learned that the hard way on Tuesday, when a brownout in central Florida turned a routine execution into an embarrassing and painful farce. And now, I've gotta do it all over again.

And that started me thinking: does America have all the energy reserves it needs to carry it through the nineties? And if not, what are the alternatives? Nuclear? Perhaps.. but is it safe? Coal is plentiful.. but I worry about the environment. Solar? Well, let's be frank, it's years away. The fact is, no one energy source alone can meet America's energy needs. [ holds up lightbulb, which lights up in his hand ] As we head into the next decade - or, as you head into the next decade - we must rely on a combination of sources - coal, hydroelectric, and nuclear, conservation, and hanging.

This has been Ted Bundy, temporarily "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"


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