Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 17: Episode 4




91d: Christian Slater / Bonnie Raitt

Christian Slater’s Monologue

.....Christian Slater
.....Lorne Michaels
.....John McLaughlin

Christian Slater: Thank you very much. Wow, let me just say that again, wow, Saturday night live! First of all, I want to thank everyone for tuning in, even though the World Series is still on, I understand it’s been a real exciting series, but we’ve got a real exciting show. Before we get started though, I’d like to get something off my chest. This is something that’s been bothering me for sometime and I wanted to take this opportunity here to deal with it once and for all, alright. I’m a little tired of people accusing me of doing Jack Nicholson, OK? Of course it hasn’t happened around here, you know, people at the show have been extremely supportive, very helpful. It’s I don’t know, maybe it’s characters I’ve played, I don’t know. Movies like ‘Heathers’, ‘Pump Up the Volume’, ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’- no that actually was Jack, yea. But anyway, what I do is nothing like Jack Nicholson, alright? And just to prove it, I’m going to do the famous diner scene from ‘Five Easy Pieces’. Now the way I do it, alright. Now first we’re going to show you the way Nicholson did it, so Davey if we could role that clip there. Davey? Anybody hear me? Anyone? Dave? [whistles]

[Behind the scenes, production staff is watching the game, doing the Braves chop with foam Braves sticks]

Christian Slater: Excuse me! [trying to get someone’s attention] Excuse me! I guess they’re watching the game. Alright, this is great guys.

[Jumps to real John McLaughlin and Lorne Michaels watching the game in front of a TV, with Braves sticks and wearing Indian headdresses]

Lorne Michaels: I always said Braves in 6.

John McLaughlin: Wrong, Braves in 7.

Christian Slater: Lorne.

Lorne Michaels: Christian, how’d the monologue go?

Christian Slater: Fine, I think I’m still doing it.

Lorne Michaels: Good, good. You know I said Braves in 6.

John McLaughlin: Excuse me young man, you make a better door than a window. [referring to Slater blocking the TV]

Christian Slater: Oh, sorry.

[Slater sees whole audience is doing the Braves chop]

Christian Slater: Jesus. That’s great. Well I guess they’re watching the game, but we actually really do have a great show tonight. Bonnie Raitt is here. We’ll be right back.


Submitted by: Ethan Greenberg


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