Lung Brush

Man.....Tom Davis
Woman.....Siobhan Fallon
Spokesman.....Mike Myers
.....Ken Stabler
Wife.....Victoria Jackson
Husband.....Chris Farley

[ open on a Man and Woman sitting at a bar smoking ]

Man: I thought you quit smoking? You were gonna be my inspiration.

Woman: Not anymore. Now I can smoke as much as I like, now that I've got the Lung Brush.

Man: Lung Brush?

Spokesman: [ steps in, holding up the product ] That's right - Lung Brush! Created by a small inventor in California, who himself enjoyed smoking, Lung Brush is the easy, inexpensive alternative to quitting or cutting down.

Here's how it works: [ Husband demonstrates ] Taking control of the easy-grip handle, slide the gentle bristle device past the trachea opening, back down the windpipe, and into the lung itself. The unique Lung Brush design allows you to remove caked-on tar, smoke particles, even city smog phlegm, freeing up clogged bronchial passages so vital for breathing and smoking. And Lung Brush's sturdy design makes cleaning and maintenance a snap! One Lung Brush may be the only Lung Brush you'll ever need.

Announcer: Here's football great, Kenny Stabler.

Ken Stabler: I threw my light and low-tar cigarettes away. Now, back to my favorite brand again. Thanks, Lung Brush!

Wife: Time to come to bed, dear.

Husband: [ coughs ]

Wife: Don't forget to brush.

Husband: Lung Brush, that is! [ smiles ]

Spokesman: So, get into the Lung Brush habit today, and smoke to your heart's content. Lung Brush is available wherever quality tobacco products are sold.

Announcer: Only $14.95, from Life Tool.

SNL Transcripts