91o: John Goodman / Garth Brooks
Star Trek Democrats
Jerry Brown.....Dana Carvey
Paul Tsongas.....Al Franken
Trekkie # 1.....Mike Myers
Bill Clinton.....Phil Hartman
Trekkie # 2.....Chris Farley
[Video of the White House exterior.]
C-SPAN Announcer: Now, C-SPAN continues its coverage of the 1992
presidential campaign with "Road to the White House."
[Video of the exterior of a Marriott hotel.]
C-SPAN Announcer: On Friday, former California Governor Jerry Brown
spoke to the 17th Annual "Star Trek" Convention at the O'Hare Marriott
Hotel. Our C-SPAN camera -- the only camera we have -- was there, as
was our microphone.
[Fade to Jerry Brown at the convention hall podium, addressing an
audience of very geeky "Star Trek" fans. He speaks with great
seriousness and intensity.]
Jerry Brown: Thank you. Thank you, Trekkers. Thank you very much.
Now, I want to say that 23 years ago this fall, "Star Trek" was
canceled. And, and I think it's a shame and a travesty that we don't
have a single prime-time science fiction show on our network schedule
today. And in the Sixties, if you look at what we did out there in
California, we had "Outer Limits," we had "Twilight Zone," "Star
Trek," as well as "Lost in Space," and now all we have is "Star Trek:
The Next Generation," and that's in syndication. Now, some people say
there's not enough audience for science fiction on television, but if
you go back and look at -- and look at when "Star Trek" was canceled,
it had a 21 percent share of the audience. Now today, that's a hit.
That's a "Knots Landing" or a "Tequila and Bonetti." Now, see, now,
we have this giant, bloated Nielsen system in place, and it just
perpetuates itself. Now, but under my plan -- under my plan, what we
have is a mandatory 13 percent flat audience share, so that shows like
"Doctor Who" or "Alien Nation" can stay on and have a chance to
develop, and you won't have bankrupt programming, you know, like
"Matlock" with Andy Griffith -- and I'm sorry, but he hasn't had a new
idea in twenty years, and I'll say it to Andy Griffith's face. I
mean, he may be an honorable man, but what he's doing is just business
as usual, and I'd like to see "Matlock" off the air. So that we take
that "Matlock" money, right there, and you bring in your best people
-- Isaac Asimov, your Carl Sagan, some puppeteers -- and you put more
fantasy scripts in development, because I think R&D is a very
important part of getting science fiction shows on the air. And if
you agree with me, call my 800 number [he holds up a placard with the
number written on it] "1-800-NOT-FLAKY."
[Video of Marriott exterior.]
C-SPAN Announcer: Later that day, former Massachusetts Senator Paul
Tsongas addressed the same gathering.
[Fade to Paul Tsongas at the podium. He speaks in a very croaky,
high-pitched voice, and constantly gestures with his hands.]
Paul Tsongas: Okay. Okay, now, now, earlier -- yeah, Jerry Brown
talked, yeah, about "Star Trek," okay? Y'know, and, and, he put
himself forward as, y'know, the "Star Trek" candidate, okay? [Pauses
to cough] Okay, but I was, y'know, the first candidate to, uh, carry
around the "Star Trek" lunchbox, okay? [He holds up said lunchbox]
Okay? Now, when Jerry Brown talks about "Star Trek," okay, what he
forgets is that I wrote a book, okay? A book. And it's here. It's a
book. [He holds up the book] It's here. It's "The Insider's Guide to
'Star Trek,'" written by Paul Tsongas, okay, with introduction by
DeForest Kelley, okay? So, y'know, read the book, okay, and you
decide, y'know, who is the candidate, y'know, who's one of you? I say
it's -- I say it's me. It's me, okay? Okay. Are there any, um, any
questions? You, sir, you have a question?
[A Trekkie raises his hand and gets up. He has the same voice as Tsongas.]
Trekkie # 1: Yeah, I just want to say that you're the first candidate
I really feel I can trust, okay? It seems that all the other
candidates just want to be Santa Claus.
Paul Tsongas: I don't -- I don't want to be Santa Claus.
Trekkie # 1: I know. I know. I know. I know.
Paul Tsongas: Bill Clinton wants to be Santa Claus. I don't want to
be Santa Claus. Santa Claus was not a leader, okay? Captain Kirk was
a leader. I want to be Captain Kirk, okay?
[The audience applauds. Fade back to Marriott exterior.]
C-SPAN Announcer: Later, Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton also spoke to
the "Star Trek" Convention.
[Fade to Bill Clinton at the podium.]
Bill Clinton: Thank you. Now, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm
not going to stand up here and pretend that I know as much about "Star
Trek" as Senator Tsongas or Governor Brown. I've always enjoyed the
show. But I admit that I didn't get to see it as much as I would have
liked when it was first on. And I've been very candid about that. As
I've explained, "Star Trek" was on during a very difficult time in my
marriage. But since then, Hillary and I have worked things out and
we've managed to see most of the episodes in syndication, and I've
made no secret about that. Yes, you have a question?
[A Trekkie gets up, flashing the Vulcan hand salute.]
Trekkie # 2: Yes, Governor, what is your reaction to the news that
Leonard Nimoy has endorsed Senator Tsongas?
Bill Clinton: [surprised] What?
Trekkie # 2: Well, you know -- the announcement that Leonard Nimoy is
backing Senator Tsongas.
Bill Clinton: [angered] Well, that is a new low in backstabbing!
After all his talk about integrity -- it's just a cheap actor's stunt!
And he's no better than Shatner! He's no better than Shatner! [He
smashes his fists on the podium, destroying it, and then begins
kicking what's left of it.]
[Fade back to the White House exterior.]
C-SPAN Announcer: This concludes C-SPAN's coverage of "Road to the
White House." Next on C-SPAN, live from New York, it's Saturday
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