91t: Woody Harrelson / Vanessa Williams

We're Cowboys and We're Proud

Cowboy Woody ... Woody Harrelson
Cowboy Dana ... Dana Carvey
Cowboy Phil ... Phil Hartman

[Three cowboys ride, side by side, atop their fake horses across a Western landscape while singing this song:]

Cowboy Woody:
Oh, I'm glad that I'm a cowboy
It's the cowboy's life for me
There's not another kind of boy
That I would rather be

All:
Not a rich boy or a homeboy
Or a playboy out at night

Cowboy Woody:
I'm just glad that I'm a cowboy

All:
And I'm just as glad I'm white
[singing the refrain:]
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We're glad God made us cowboys
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We're cowboys and we're proud

[Slight pause before the next verse as a horse neighs.]

Cowboy Woody:
Oh, I'm glad I'm not a city boy
'Cause city boys ain't macho

Cowboy Dana:
And I'm glad I'm not a bus boy
Like some Mexican muchacho

Cowboy Phil:
They say errand boys are underpaid
Whipping boys are bitter

Cowboy Woody:
I'm just glad I'm not a bat boy
For some Puerto Rican hitter

All:
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We're glad God made us cowboys
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We're cowboys and we're proud

[Slight pause before the last verse as a horse neighs.]

Cowboy Dana:
Now, colored boys don't like to work

Cowboy Phil:
And sissy boys love clothes

Cowboy Woody:
You can always spot a Jew boy
By his great big Jew boy nose

Cowboy Dana:
I would hate to be a fat boy

Cowboy Phil:
Or a Chinese boy from China

Cowboy Woody:
I'm just glad I'm not a girl boy
With a big ol' girl vagina

All:
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We're glad God made us cowboys
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We're cowboys and we're proud

[Song ends]

Cowboy Woody: Giddyap, hoss boy! Come on!

[Cheers and applause as we pull back to reveal the prop men below, rocking the prop horses - as well as the sodium screen providing the Western landscape. The stage manager rushes in to lead Woody Harrelson off stage.]


Submitted Anonymously