Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 18: Episode 1


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:



Bit Players:


September 26th, 1992

Nicolas Cage

Bobby Brown

Jan Hooks

Lorne Michaels

Cher

Rob Smigel

Terry Turner

Bonnie Turner

Christine Zander

Husbands and Wives
Summary: Woody Allen (Dana Carvey) and Soon-Yi Previn (Rob Schneider) awkwardly run into Mia Farrow (Jan Hooks) and Alan Dershowitz (Rob Smigel) outside the movie theater during a presenation of "Husbands and Wives".

Recurring Characters: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Soon-Yi Previn, Tony Roberts, Alan Dershowitz, Frank Sinatra.

Transcript


Montage


Nicolas Cage's Monologue
Summary: Nicolas Cage delights in talking about his female co-stars' body parts.

Transcript


Canis
Summary: The cologne for dogs.

Transcript


The Adventures of Tiny Elvis
Summary: Tiny Elvis (Nicolas Cage) marvels at the enormity of the normal-sized objects that surround him.

Transcript


Ross Perot Makes a Deal
Summary: Ross Perot (Dana Carvey) offers complete strangers money to perform bizarre stunts for his own pleasure, as proof of his own power.

Recurring Characters: Ross Perot.


Deep Thoughts
Summary: Jack Handey recalls his Uncle Caveman.

Note: Hub, Helios.

Repeat from: 91l.


Bobby Brown performs "Humpin' Around"


Weekend Update with Kevin Nealon
Summary: Kevin Nealon delivers a subliminal commentary about Bill Clinton. Chris Rock comments on the first day of school. Opera Man (Adam Sandler) sings about Madonna and other recently celebrity gaffes.

Transcript


Baby Names
Summary: Mr. Asswipe Johnson ( Nicolas Cage) is extra-sensitve about choosing a name for wife's (Julia Sweeney) expectant child.

Transcript


Deep Thoughts
Summary: Jack Handey muses on the top thing an Indian can do.

Transcript


Nightline
Summary: Ted Koppel (Dana Carvey) moderates a Q&A session between Gov. Bill Clinton (Phil Hartman) and a series of stupid-yet-undecided voters.

Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton.

Transcript


Bobby Brown performs "Good Enough"


Deep Thoughts
Summary: Jack Handey ponders what frightens ants the most.


The Queen Shenequa Show
Summary: Queen Shenequa (Ellen Cleghorne) raps with Bobby Brown.

Recurring Characters: Queen Shenequa.


Deep Thoughts
Summary: Jack Handey ponders a world gone mad.

Transcript


Mr. Casual Sex


Deep Thoughts
Summary: Jack Handey offers a suggestion of what to do if you go temporarily insane.

Note: Repeat from: 91l.


Goodnights



SNL Transcripts