That's Not Yogurt

Husband.....Kevin Nealon
Wife.....Julia Sweeney



Husband: [ eating a cup of yogurt ] Mmm. Honey, this is great yogurt.

Wife: That's Not Yogurt.

Husband: Not yogurt? Come on, it sure tastes like yogurt.

Wife: That's Not Yogurt.

Husband: No. Come on, taste it. Mmm.. Not yogurt?

Wife: No, Honey, look.. [ holds up container ] That's Not Yogurt.

Husband: [ puzzled ] Hmm.. Then, what is it?

Announcer: I'll tell you one thing - That's Not Yogurt!

Husband: Well, if it isn't yogurt, then what did I just swallow?

Announcer: Wouldn't you like to know!

Husband: Yeah. I would.

Announcer: Well.. That's Not Yogurt!

Husband: Look, I understand that. But what is it? Is it, like, some sort of sour cream? Is it, like, buttermilk? Cottage Cheese?

Announcer: That's Not Yogurt!

Wife: No, seriously.. my husband is allergic to certain kinds of food.. so he really sort of needs to know exactly what it is.

Announcer: Sorry. But all we can tell you is - That's Not Yogurt!

Husband: Look, I have a right to know what I just ate!

Announcer: It drives people crazy, trying to figure out the secret to the great That's Not Yogurt taste. It's smooth, thick, and creamy.. with a perfect mix of sweet and sour, just like real yogurt. Only, That's Not Yogurt!

Husband: Alright, come on.. what is it?

Announcer: Actually.. it is yogurt.

Husband: [ joyful ] Really.

Announcer: No. That's Not Yogurt! That's Not Yogurt! You'll swear you're eating yogurt, but you're not. It's something else.

Female Voiceover: From the makers of Those Aren't Olives.


SNL Transcripts