|
|
|
The Continental
The Continental.....Christopher Walken
Announcer: The sun is set. The stars shine in the sky. The night
air is tinged with anticipation. And it is time to meet the Continental.
[ a glove breezes past the Continental's door, before it opens and a woman
runs out screaming ]
The Continental: [ spotting his nighttime visitor ] Don't mind her.
That was merely my sister, running to meet her lover. Every moment spent
without him is an eternity for her. Please. Come in. [ kisses his
visitor's hand and shows her into his apartment ] You know, when you called,
my heart sang. Allow me to take your wrap. No? I see. You've only come
to reclaim your misplaced glove, then you must go. But don't you see, I will
be devestated if you don't join me for at least one glass of fine champagna.
Please. Your coat. [ camera shakes no ] I beg you. What kind of host
would I be if I did not attend to your beautiful coat, my little wildflower.
Come on. [ seizes her coat and flings it upon the coat rack ] There, that
wasn't so bad, now was it? Now, please.. won't you make yourself
comfortable on the settee, as I look for this glove.. [ walks across the
room ] which you happen to forget when you fled from my apartment last week.
Sit. Please.
[ he sits next to her ] You know.. I think it was no accident.
In fact, I believe there are no accidents. [ smokes his cigarette ] This
glove is an excuse. Admit it. You find me as irresistable as I
find.. [ camera spins around and quickly zooms towards the door, blocked
suddenly by the Continental's desperation to have her stay ] Forgive me,
my little frightened, wide-eyed doe. I see I've upset you. If I move away
from the door, will you promise to sit and banter with me, if only for a
brief few moments. [ camera shakes yes, so the Continental walks away, but
quickly jumps in again when the camera attempts to leave ] You broke your
promise! So I broke mine. I do not like to play games. I wil find your
glove, and you will go. But first, a glass of fine champagna.
[ he walks over to a table to pour the champagna into two glasses ] You
know, champagna is not champagna unless it comes from the province of
Champagne. I learned that in Bartending School. [ bring their champagne to
the settee ] Sit, please. [ hands his visitor her glass ] Forgive me if my
hungry eyes feast on the banquet of your sumptious decolletage. [ champagne is
thrown in his face ] The champagna you have thrown stings my eyes. You are a
fiery vixen. You have a spirit.. like a frolicksome colt. [ glass is held
before him ] Ah! I see you have changed your mind about the champagna. No
one can long resist the lure of those delicate bubbles.. [ reaches for the
bottle ] ..each whispering the same message of love. [ the champagne is
again thrown in his face ] Thrown champagne in my face once, shame on you.
[ adjusts his soaked fake moustache ] Throw champagna in my face twice, shame
on me. Very well. I will find the glove.
[ he puts his glass down and walks over to his bookcase ] If you will hold
the steps for me, my darling.. I will fetch this object of your desire. [ he
climbs the ladder, grabs a box, and looks down upon his visitor's cleavage ]
Oof! The view from here.. is intoxicating.. oh.. like fine champagna. Very
well, I will find this glove. [ pulls a white glove out of his box ] The
glove of a woman. I must confess, I have quite a collection. [ pulls out
a red glove ] This I found in a taxi cab. [ pulls out a beige glove ] This
one belonged to the girlfriend of a roommate. [ pulls out a yellow glove ]
This I purchased at a garage sale. [ pulls out another white glove ] Ah,
here we are. This, unless I'm dreadfully mistaken, we've found your glove?
[ camera shakes no ] No? In that case.. [ pulls out another red glove ]
..this is the glove you seek. [ camera shakes no ] Then, surely..
[ pulls out a third red glove ] ..this is your glove. [ hand reaches
for the glove ] Ah! Eureka! Our quest has ended. [ hands her the glove,
then pulls it away before she can grab it ] Ah.. dare I say it, this calls
for a glass of champagna! [ puts his box away and climbs down the ladder ]
That is, if you promise not to throw it in my face. No? Very well. I
appreciate your honesty, so I guess there is nothing left but to return
your glove to you, and then you can go and return yourself.. to Him.
[ holds her hand ] You know, your hands say everything about you.. So
fine and delicate. You know, I received a doctorate in the study of
Palmistry, from the University of Budapest. Allow me one brief glimpse..
[ examines her hand ] Yes! See here, your lifeline is very long!
So is your faith line.. but most intriguing of all.. your love line.
[ he bends down and licks her hand, as she slaps him and heads for the door ]
But! I haven't called for your car yet! Must you fly so soon, my little
songbird? Must you fly so soon? Please! Very well, go.. but allow me one
last moment to drink the intoxicating vision of you. Eyes blazing, your hair
flowing, chest heaving.. [ she runs into the hallway ] Wait! You
forgot your coat. [ hands it to her ] Please, allow me to.. [ she slams
the door behind her and runs ]
Announcer: Join us again next week, for another chapter in the life of..
The Continental.
SNL Transcripts
|
|
|